When I look back on 2019, there's a great deal of pain and loss. Some of this loss was sort of expected, like the deaths of my grandparents. Some of this loss was completely unexpected, like my wife leaving again. Whether expected or not, these losses have made their mark on our lives.
I have been struggling with these losses myself, I can't imagine what my kids are experiencing.
The last few months have been particularly challenging as the kids and I are trying to adapt to the major changes in our lives. I'm adapting to being a single parent, raising my kids on my own and my kids are adapting to living in a single parent home.
Trying to grieve without burdening my kids is not easy. Trying to help them grieve, adapt and move forward is all consuming. There isn't an area of our lives that haven't been impacted in a negative way.
As we move into 2020, I know that the offical end to my 16 year marriage is on the horizon. It's heartbreaking but I'm trying to view that as closure for me personally. The kids won't notice any difference but if I'm in a better place emotionally, I will be a better father and role model for them.
The loss is abundant but there has also been major steps forward as well. I'm choosing to focus on the steps forward.
2019 saw the launch of my podcast. The pod has grown over the last year and I've found some success in using it to help provide a better life for my kids.
The blog is still kicking and has had the best year since I switched from Lost and Tired to The Autism Dad. I've made a ton of new partnerships and connected with lots of new people, especially on social media.
I've gained followers like Ryan Reynolds, John Cena, Rep. Eric Swalwell and thousands of other amazing people. I feel very lucky to be able to connect with so many people who find something of value in what I do. It truly is an honor to be doing what I'm doing. I was even able to get my Twitter handle adjusted without losing my verification. I've been trying to get that fixed for years.
As I move into 2020, I'm updating both the podcast and the blog to represent where I am at this point. I've updated the logo and the cover art for the podcast. I wanted to tie everything together a bit better with a cleaner look.
I feel really good about things right now. I have a great deal of work to do and quite a few obstacles to overcome, some of which will be very painful. That said, I have my health and most importantly, I have my kids. At the end of the day, while I've lost quite a bit, I still have everything that matters.
2020 will be a great adventure and I hope you all have a safe and happy new year.
