Lizze and I may have a difficult decision to make in the morning. As you know, our ferret Zane has been very sick. Over the last week or so, he seemed to doing better and we were all quite relieved by that.
Unfortunately, we're noticing that his back legs now seem to be partially paralyzed, which indicates possible neurological problems.
I spoke with the vet last night and he's going to see Zane at 10am. We will try and figure out what we need to do but any of the tests that would need to be done would likely be in the hundreds of dollars and there's just no feasible way for us to pull that off.
Anyway, the vet is going to advise us if it's either something that will get better or if we need to think about putting him down.
His back legs work to some extent but it's like his feet don't work. His feet don't do anything and he's not moving his toes anymore. As he tries to walk around, his back legs will sometimes slip out from under him and his feet sorta bend awkwardly. He can't straighten them out unless he can get his leg up high enough.
I'm not describing it very well but it's very difficult to describe.
The boys know he's going into the vet for a check up but we haven't told them what might need to be done.
Kids with Autism often require special care in situations like these because they don't process emotionally charged situations the same as their neurotypical peers. The feeling of loss is very profound and they (my kids) don't cope very well with it. It's very difficult to navigate and frankly, we avoid having to at all costs.
I've been speaking to other Autism parents, as well as the boys therapist about how to handle this.
The main question is *do we prepare them for the possibility that he may need to be euthanized or do we send them to school, take Zane to the vet, deal with whatever happens and explain to the boys after the fact? *
If we prepare them, it's going to be extremely difficult for them to focus on anything else, meaning school (assuming we could even get them there) would be a nightmare. If we don't prepare them for what *might *happen, and it happens, they won't have had a chance to say goodbye.
I realize we're talking about a ferret and most people don't have an appreciation or understanding of ferrets, but they are highly intelligent animals that bond very deeply with their human family. Their human family likewise bonds deeply with them as well.
The loss would impact the boys for a very long time.
We've lost our cat Cleo to old age and our dog Maggie to cancer, all within the last year. Elliott sleeps next to Maggie's collar.
I was messaging with the boys therapist last night and the recommendation is not to tell them anything. I reached out to my friend Holly Robinson Peete because she's an experienced Autism parent. We chat from time to time and she always has good advice.
Lizze and I are hoping that everything will end up being fine but we are not going tell the boys anything.
We need them to go about their day without worrying about what may or may not happen.
Holly's right, in that every child is different and advice is tough to give. She's going to be going through something similar soon and is dreading it as well.
Lizze and I know the boys and we know what will happen if we say anything. I think we're going to go to the appointment, hoping for the best but prepared for the worst. We'll just have to deal with the fallout, if and when there is any.
This might seem like we're making too big a deal out of this but kids on the spectrum typically *DO NOT *do well with change, especially when that change involves the loss of a beloved pet.
Sometimes, talking to other Autism parents about what they would do or have done in similar situations, can help put things into perspective. All we want to do is minimize the trauma for the boys as best we can.
Thank you to Dr. Pattie, Holly Robinson Peete and all the other Autism parents that shared their thoughts and experiences in regards to this particular situation.
Hopefully, everything will go well and none of this will even be necessary. ☺
I hope this makes sense. My brain is fried and I can't keep my eyes open.
