I tried writing this big elaborate post on letting go, but I can only get so far because it becomes overwhelming, and I get stuck. Instead, I want to keep this simple and talk briefly about something I’m going to be focusing on this week.
I’ve been talking a lot about self-reflection lately. Recently I have begun taking a personal inventory and identifying things that I need/want to work on.
This week, I’m focusing on letting go.
Honestly, I’m no stranger to letting things go. My 17-year marriage ended two years ago, and I’ve learned to let that part of my life go. It’s clearly for the best, and I’ve accepted that. I’m happier and in a far better place now. I’m grateful for it, but if I hadn’t been able to let go, I’d be miserable right now.
Letting go isn’t easy, at least it’s not easy for me. Not always, anyway.
I’m moving forward with my life, and to do that, I need to let go of the things holding me back. Sometimes it’s old dreams that won’t be realized, and that’s okay. Other times I have to let go of work opportunities, and even people. Moving forward is my priority, and if I don’t let go of what’s weighing me down, causing pain, unhappiness, or issues with business, my forward progress is brought to a screeching halt.
This week I’m making the very conscious decision to let go of problematic work opportunities because it will free up resources that I can reallocate elsewhere. I’m letting go of things that make me sad or unhappy. I’ve decided to let go of some personal and business relationships. Relationships, whether business or personal, are a two-way street. Sometimes these relationships are too painful, one sided, or they are no longer profitable. I can’t move forward if I’m stuck in place, nor can I grow my business by investing time and energy into something that is of little benefit.
I guess the whole point is that I’m continuing my personal journey of inflection and self-discovery. I want to continue to better myself, so I can be the best version of me possible. My kids deserve that and honestly, so do I.
Starting today, I’m going to be letting go of what isn’t working in my life. I don’t see it as quiting because I’ve given my all and at the end of the day, I feel like I did what I could while working within the confines of whatever arbitrary rules life has decided I need to follow. I only have control over myself but I can also decide who or what I give my time and energy to.
I want to focus on the opportunites that have the best chances of success. Life is way too short to spin my wheels and I feel like I’ve been doing that for too long. I’ve spent far too much time being undervalued or underappreciated. My friend Joel, has been trying to get me to see some of these things for as long as I can remember. I know my worth as a person and I know my value from a business perspective as well. It’s a work in progress but I’m getting there.
Starting my life over has given me so many amazing opportunities. I actually feel lucky to be able to push forward and redirect my life in whatever direction works best for us.
It’s sometimes sad saying goodbye to some of these things because they’ve been a part for my life for years in some cases. I’ve said this before but it’s worth saying again. These are all life lessons and teachable moments. I’m not angry, bitter, or even resentful, because I learned something from every experience. For everything I let go of and say goodbye to, I make room for new opportunities. That’s a hugely positive thing. Letting go is not always easy but it’s all part of personal growth, and that’s all part of life.
Great poem by Elizabeth Bishop on this topic starts this way:
The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
So healthy! And you won’t be sorry in doing this for yourself, a little bit of discomfort can lead to a simpler and better life in the long run. I was married for 18 years and got divorced ten years ago, had to do a lot of the sane things. Can’t believe some days how good things are now, kids in college, better job, more freedom, great friendships. You’re going to get there.