It’s been a seriously shitty few days for a number of reasons and I’ve just lost interest in writing. There isn’t one particular thing that’s to blame but rather a multitude of things, most of which are outside of my control.

It goes without saying the this country is in total chaos. I completely support the protesters and the Black Lives Matter movement. If I were able, I would be marching right along with everyone else.

It’s heartbreaking to see everything that’s going on and it makes me so angry to see those in power, doing nothing, or even worse, standing in the way of addressing police brutality and the systemic racism that’s festering in this country.  I’m disgusted by the Republican party and absolutely despise Trump and all he stands for.

I’ve been locked in my house for 92 days because of COVID19 and I’m really worried about the explosion of cases we are almost certain to see in the very near future.

My kids are stressed out and that just adds to the overall stress I’m trying to cope with.

The kids will be transitioning to online school this Fall and that’s a tremendous amount of responsibility being added to a plate that’s already barely manageable as it is.

I woke up this morning to my server having been deactivated due to being hacked. Thankfully, it was a very easy fix and everything is good but the downtime really hurt the finances today. I’ve allowed people to run their sites on my server but they weren’t being maintained and ended up be exploited last night.

I was not personally hacked but because sites on my server had been, the whole server got shutdown.

I made the decision to purge my server and leave only this site running. I was trying to be nice but sometimes being nice backfires. Now I only have to worry about this site and that’s it.

That’s not a good way to start the day.

I was cutting the grass yesterday and I got the back yard done and made one pass in the front before the mower died. It’s about 16 years old and I’ve been nursing it along for a while now. My front yard looks like a reverse mohawk and I’m fresh out of shits to give at this point.

I’ve started lawnmower shopping and will make a decision inside the next week, once I get paid.

I’m still dealing with poison ivy on my left arm and that’s not much fun either.

Life is quite overwhelming. I’m not ashamed to say that I have my moments lately and they aren’t always pretty. Depression is creeping in again and I feel it more and more each day.

That being said, I’m still getting out of bed each morning and making progress where I can. My kids and I are safe and healthy. I’ve not totally lost my mind yet and we’re finding our way through this. It’s not perfect and it’s certainly not easy but we’re surviving as best we can. That has to count for something.

I’m overwhelmed and exhausted. There’s no end in sight and I’m on my own. Who wouldn’t be overwhelmed by all of this?