It's been a very challenging day. I got the kids off to school and then met with Lizze and the kids therapist to hammer out all the important details of our pending dissolution. It's complicated for a number of reasons but it's incredibly civil, there's absolutely no animosity and everything is already worked out.
While I would never have chosen this as our path, I do take comfort in the knowledge that this will not be ugly and that frankly, it's almost over.
This isn't easy at all but I'm grateful that Lizze is working with me to ensure the best interests of our kids. Divorce is a shitty, painful thing, but it doesn't have to be ugly. War does not have to be waged and even if I don't agree with the decisions Lizze has made, we can still work together. This doesn't have to be an *all or nothing *kind of thing.
There's a great deal of mixed emotions right now but I'm doing okay. I'm walking the path that I've been put on and making the best of it.
I feel like I've made peace with all of what's happened and I'm ready to move forward, opening a new chapter of my life. Please don't take that as me saying this is easy for me. On the contrary, letting my marriage go is easily one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my entire life. It's thrown my entire life plan out the window and for awhile, I felt as though my life was over. I felt like I'd lost what was most precious to me and I didn't know how accept it.
There are many things in life that are outside of our individual control. Sometimes you can fight the tide but sometimes you realize that the best thing you can do is make peace with the fact that the tide is going out and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
Anger doesn't do anyone any good. I found that letting go of the past is not always easy but it's an important step towards a better future.
I'm not this because I feel anyone has a right to know. I'm sharing this because I'm hoping that maybe other can learn something from my experience. I want people to see that divorce doesn't have to be ugly and you can find a way to stow the shit, work together and move forward. I'd really like to see something positive come from this..
I will remain positive and continue to push forward. My kids deserve the best me I can give them and if I allow my negative feelings to dictate my actions, they will not be getting the best version of me and I simply won't allow that.
Things are moving forward and I feel like everything is going to be okay.
