So we had a really emotional therapy session tonight. We're talking the kind that of emotional that leaves you exhausted the following day. I can already feel the emotional hangover coming.
Tonight was all about the divorce related issues the kids are struggling with. Their mom was there and while it was very emotionally charged, it really did serve a purpose and I hope it helps to promote healing for the kids.
I'm very upfront and honest when I say that I do not agree with anything she's done or any of the decisions she's made. I stand by that. At the same time. She's the mother of my children and that will never change. I'm trying to help the kids see this in something other than black and white but they're sorta wired that way. Franky, she's wired the same way.
I told the kids tonight that I understand they have been hurt and their lives turned upside down, but they need to remember that no matter what has happened, she will always be their mother. I don't agree with her choices but I will never doubt how much she loves them. I'm trying to help them see that this isn't an all or nothing kind of thing.
I went further to explain that even though I'm hurt, mommy will always be my hero. Without her, they wouldn't exist.
She's sacrificed so much just to make sure they were born. Both pregnancies were extremely complicated and she spent 90% of both on complete bedrest. There were times that her life was in danger as well and she never gave up. Elliott was a premie and spent about 10 days in the NICU. You couldn't drag her away from his incubator the entire time he was there. Both Elliott and Emmett are here today because of how much she loves them and how hard she fought to keep them safe. Nothing that has transpired since can undo that.
For that reason alone, she is now and forever will be my hero and command my respect. Nothing that has happened can undo all of the selfless sacrifice she's made for them over the years.
I'm able to separate these things but right now, they aren't and it's something we're working on. It's like they approach this in a retroactive way. By that I mean, all they see is that she left twice and to them, it's like that somehow erases all the good she's done. I get where they're coming from but it's a very limiting perspective and my hope is, with time, they will be able to parse this a little better.
All three of the boys and their mother are all on the Autism Spectrum, so that makes this a bit more challenging to navigate. I'm very confident that we will get there and the kids will adjust to their new normal. I'm not saying it'll be easy and I'm certain there will be obstacles or roadblocks along the way but we'll get there.
After therapy, I took the kids to Burger King and we were then invited to meet some family for ice cream. I'm really trying not to stress eat but I just didn't care tonight. On the positive side, both Elliott and Emmett tried new things. Trying new food is always a good thing.
This was a good way to sorta defuse any remaining tensions before getting them home and to bed. It all worked out. I feel like overall, it was a very positive session.
In the awesome news category, Emmett has completed his second full day back at school and shows no signs of giving up. He's doing awesome and I'm so stinking proud of him. I'm proud of Elliott for continuing to do awesome at school, despite all he's dealing with as well.
I'm always proud of my kids and Gavin is no exception. He's doing pretty well and he's also been a huge help around the house. Gavin's even helping out with laundry and that's honestly a huge help. I know that I can get frustrated with him at times but this kid gives his all, all the time. It's hard not to be proud him.
If you are new to this blog or don't know me very well, you should know that I'm a Dad who thinks his kids are the most amazing humans on the face of the Earth. Everytime I say I couldn't be prouder of my boys, they always find a way to prove me wrong.
I'm going to bed tonight emotionally drained but feeling hopeful.
