I have a couple of short-term goals in regards to rebuilding our lives. I, of course, also have long-term goals as well but for now, I’m not in a place that I’m really focusing on them.

The Kids

The single most important goal I have is to get my kids through this. That means helping them establish a footing in this new world they’ve found themselves in. I think it’s important that we establish solid routines and that I provide a more ridged structure for them. Autistic kids thrive on routine and structure, because it’s predictable.

I have goals for each of the kids that are unique to each one of them. Just as an example:

Emmett hasn’t slept in his own bed since August 10th. I don’t mind him sleeping in my bed if it helps him to feel more comfortable for now but I want to get him to a place where he’s comfortable not being glued to my side at night.

I want all of the kids to find ways to express how they’re feeling. They tend to internalize a great deal and that’s not a healthy thing to do.

We also need to establish as predictable of a visitation schedule as possible. This is a very complicated situation and as a result, predictability is incredibly difficult to provide for the kids. We need to establish as good a balance as possible and seek to improve upon it as time goes on. That’s absolutely in the kids best interest.

The House

Another short-term goal I have is to get the house in order. I’ve already made some progress but there are still things that need to be done.

Everyone’s bedrooms need organized. It’s been forever since we’ve seen the floor in Elliott and Emmett’s room. I’d like to make sure it’s still there. I want to get rid of things we either don’t need or no longer use, because we have very limited space and we need to use it more efficiently.

I want the house to be a sanctuary for myself and my kids. I don’t want it to be a reminder of what we’ve lost. To do that, we really need to make it our own. That will take time and money.

Finalizing My Divorce

This is a big for me personally. As much as I hate absolutely everything about this, I have no control over it. The only thing I have control over is how I move forward and in order to move forward, I need this to be over. Moving on is something that’s very difficult for me to do and remaining attached this way only makes it harder for me get through this.

I suppose everyone would deal with this differently but for me, it’s hanging over my head like a dark cloud. I know there’s no going back and it weighs heavy on me every single day. Being able to free myself of that will help to propel me forward.