Last night was one of those rare moments in life where my wife and I had a childless house. While we might get a break or two a month, typically there's still someone home with us and makes it much less of a break.
The reason for that is Gavin. Gavin causes too many problems with his brothers if all three of them are together at the same time. It triggers fighting and things get ugly. Unfortunately, there's really no getting through to Gavin because he's not one to learn from experience.
Essentially, the problem arises from Gavin wanting his way, all the time when he's at either one of his Grandparents houses. He's very good at manipulation in these situations and as I said, it's very upsetting to his younger brothers.
Do I think Gavin is setting out to upset anyone? No I don't. Gavin has the capacity of someone between the ages of four and six. He's sorta running on base instinct and like a small child, if he wants something, he pushes for it. He's not paying attention to how that may impact those around him.
It's frustrating for everyone involved.
The situation becomes very difficult for the grandparents to manage. It's very difficult for the boys. Frankly, it's very frustrating for Lizze and I because that means that a real break is impossible to get. If the kids are going to their grandparents, they're split up. For example, if the boys are going, Gavin will have to stay home. If Gavin is going, the boys will have to stay back.
I'm not gonna lie, there's a part of me that's angry with Gavin for doing this. At the same time, I don't think he really understands what he's doing wrong. How can I be mad at that?
Gavin's tough to coesist with anymore because he will not stop talking, doesn't learn from his mistakes and freaks out when he does something wrong or makes a mistake. It's exhausting. It's exhausting for us as parents, his brothers and his grandparents.
There's always that internal struggle of dealing with anger and resentment because while he's creating problems, he also doesn't have a malicious bone in his body. At the same time, he's the reason we are unable to get breaks.
I know I struggle with this quite a bit. I often catch myself getting upset and I have to snap myself out of it and calmly ask him to stop talking. It's not always easy to do this because Gavin freaks out over every single mistake he makes and he makes a lot of them. There's no getting through to him that *everyone *makes mistakes. I personally make enough mistakes for several people and I always try to point them out.
Unfortunately, that doesn't help or at least it hasn't helped much yet.
Last night, Lizze's parents offered to try with all three of the boys again because they really want to help. If things go better, that might happen more often. For the record, Lizze and I absolutely agree that splitting the boys up is the best approach, as long as Gavin is creating these problems. Truthfully, it's too hard on them and it's too hard on the boys. It sucks but it's the right approach.
Hopefully, things are going well. We haven't heard anything and that can be a good thing. It may also mean that we'll hear about it when they get home. Who knows but I'm trying to stay positive.
Lizze and I really didn't do much last night because she wasn't feeling well. We were asleep by midnight and awake by 7 AM. Neither one of us could sleep in.
We need to do some running around today, preferably before the kids get home. Everyone needs new bed sheets. We need laundry baskets, mats for the bathroom and a snow shovel. We have a pretty big winter storm coming and our snow shovel was stolen.
Elliott's birthday is on Monday and he's turning 13. That's a big milestone. We want to do something special.
So that's the tentative plan for today. I've no idea how things are going to go but that's the direction we need them to go in.. ☺
