I can't even begin to explain how overwhelmed I am right now. Lizze is a hot mess and that's not making anything easier. I don't mean any disrespect by that either because she has no control over any of this.
She's been having frequent panic attacks over the last few days. Her migraine is simply unbearable and she's struggling with depression. I huge part of her depression is related to chronic pain. The pain leads to depression and the depression makes the pain worse. It just feeds on itself endlessly. She's nauseated all the time and get sick everytime she eats.
If we're to get her any longterm relief from her depression, we have to control her pain and we've not found a way to do that. We're currently waiting for her headache infusion to be approved by insurance and it's taking forever.
Elliott is massively depressed and struggling right now. He's getting all available help but it's an uphill, exhausting battle filled with hormones, screaming, meltdowns, sadness, and heartache. I'm overwhelmed by this and I can't imagine how he's feeling.
Emmett is having issues with eating. We know that Emmett has issues with food but they're largely sensory in nature. Unfortunately, Emmett is now getting sick after he eats. It *seems *to be centered around milk and dairy but we aren't entirely sure. We're only just learning about the connection because Emmett's had an ongoing issue with tummy aches that everyone thought were stress related. He also struggles with expressive language and telling us how he's feeling is a challenge.
Over the weekend, he informed us that he's getting tummy aches everytime he eats. He doesn't know why he didn't tell us about it. We had assumed the tummy aches were related to stress and or anxiety but it appears as though there might be more going on.
Emmett used to be allergic to milk, soy, and egg but outgrew it a while ago.
I spoke with the doctor's office today and we should be hearing back soon.
Emmett's describing nausea and stomach pain. That's very similar to when he was younger. It took forever to figure that out when he was younger because he was nonverbal and couldn't tell us. He's since gained advanced language skills but explaining how he's feeling is a challenge.
Trying to get him to eat anything is impossible. His menu was insanely limited, to begin with, and until we know otherwise, we have to go back on his food allergy diet. That means another trip to the grocery store ASAP and that's not in the budget but it's important.
Mr. Gavin is becoming a bit more reclusive than normal. We don't see him very often because he's spending a great deal of each day in his room. We try to encourage him to come out but that's where he's happy. Pushing him too far isn't a good idea.
Yesterday he informed us that he had to go on another mission. It's something about *weird readings coming from the river.* I don't know what the fuck that means but I do know it requires intergalactic travel and probably some very evil bad guys.
I can't tell you how exhausting this all is. Schizophrenia is a very difficult condition to help manage.
I'm at the point where I just cannot keep up with everything. It's simply not possible. Even if I pick my battles, and trust me I do, the ones that don't get picked are still important enough to cause major problems for us if we let them slide.
I was interrupted multiple times as writing while this. It's frustrating but it happens when you work at home. Unfortunately, the last time I was interrupted was because our roof was leaking and dripping into our office.
This is especially frustrating because I was just talking to my father in law about how I think the roof was finally fixed and I could finally repaint the ceiling.
It's been about 6 years since it's last leaked. The problem is that I've repaired and repainted the ceiling about half a dozens times already. Each time I did, I waited to make sure there wasn't any leaks.
We've never been able to locate where the leak is coming from. In fact, we had our entire roof replaced within the last 10 years and it still leaked here. No one has been able to find it because it only ever really happens during the winter when snow sits on the roof and then slowly melts.
There's no way to know if it's been fixed until winter and we're only guessing with the repairs. It doesn't leak when it rains unless we have a serious amount of rain and that's only happened once or twice. Anyway, it started leaking today for the first time in forever. The ceiling actually began falling apart.
I don't use the room for an office anymore because of this and so it's not been a priority, at least compared to everything else.
It's frustrating because I was going to put my office back together with tax return this year. I figured it's been long enough and if it was going to leak, it would have over the last 6 winters.
I'm just feeling overwhelmed and while I won't quit, the idea of doing so sounds like a good idea right now.
