There are some days that are easier than others. Yesterday had its moments, both good and bad. The day began a bit rough but improved as the day went on. The kids had a good day at school but an absolutely disastrous night at therapy. We did manage to end the day on a positive note and for that, we're grateful.
The only thing really worth discussing right now was the disastrous therapy session last night.
I'm not sure what was going on but right or wrong, Gavin was at the middle of the entire thing. Gavin's an absolutely amazing human being and we all love him unconditionally. At the same time, he's very difficult to coexist with and I say that as an adult.
Unfortunately, there's a storm brewing between Gavin and the boys. Elliott and Emmett are struggling to cope with his behaviors and the way Gavin reacts to things. They're confused by the things he does and frustrated by the way it impacts them.
There were several, very heated arguments that dominated the session. It was mostly between Elliott and Gavin but Emmett came along for the ride as well.
The fights were over unimportant things and were trigger by the fact that neither one of them (Elliott or Gavin), handled things appropriately. They may have handled things the best they could but it's because of how they handled things that everything esculated. That was a mouthful..
The substance of the conflict doesn't really matter but what matters is that Gavin struggles with social interaction, especially when things are emotionally charged. His memory is very poor and he's very, very easily confused. He also struggle telling the difference between what's real and what isn't.
Elliott does not accurately perceive the world around him and as a result, he reacts to events he feels took place but realistically didn't. He both takes and makes everything personal, even when it wasn't. Elliott goes from 0 to 60 instantly and very quickly makes things personal. Both boys struggle to understand that Gavin 19 years old but is cognitively a first grader.
I will admit that Gavin is becoming more and more challenging, to the point that we're actually discussing a group home type placement. No decisions are even close to being made. We're simply beginning to recognize that we can't sustain this long term and we need to keep all options on the table.
There are going to have to be some therapy sessions where Gavin isn't present because I think we need to help the boys better understand what's going on with Gavin and why he is the way he is. We've tried over the years to help them understand but as they get older and Gavin gets older, things f free come for complicated.
Very little was actually resolved because the underlying issues remain. That said, we were able to distract them when we got home. I ordered pizza and we watched *The House with A Clock in its walls.* This was the movie we began watching in the theater when we had to leave early because the tree fell into our house. While Gavin had no interest in watching, Elliott and Emmett did. The night ended on a positive note and I'm going to bed feeling a little better about things. ☺
