I'm super excited because the kids are going to their grandparents tonight. I get that some may see that as harsh but it's not meant to be that way.
The fact is, Lizze and I haven't had a break in long time.
Autism and Special Needs parenting has an impact on how time passes. It doesn't really but not having a serious break for a month or two can feel like years because of the extreme levels of unending responsibility and stress.
The last time we had a break, we didn't get to do anything because Lizze wasn't feeling well. While the break helped, at least a little bit, what we desperately need is to have a sense of normalcy.
I know that *normal *is a bad word to many in the Special Needs community but the reality is, as human beings, we all need to feel normal. The thing about *normal *is that it's different for everyone.
Feeling normal for someone might be having a nice TV to watch when the kids go down. It's something that just helps that person to feel *normal *for a little while.
For me, I need the sense of normalcy that comes along with my wife and I going out. Maybe we go to dinner or maybe a movie. In that short time that we're out, we're around other people doing the same thing. For a little while, I can press the pause button on my life and just be together with Lizze.
In those moments, we're not worried about appointments, money, meds, meltdowns or anything else related to being an Autism and Special Needs parent. I'm just spending time, outside the house with my best friend in the whole world..
This is the kind of thing that helps both emotionally and physically because I can forget all that has me stressed out, even if it's only for a little while. I can feel like I'm more than just an Autism and Special Needs parent.
I'm so stressed out right now that I'm clenching my teeth. My jaw/teeth hurt and my head is pounding. I'm fighting against the urge to clench my teeth but it's something I'm not always aware of and it's exhausting to have to consciously tell myself not to do it. I need to get out for a little while, so I can decompress and get away from all that has me dangling by my finger tips on the edge of a cliff.
I know many of you out there understand because you deal with similar experiences. I just wanted to tell you that there's nothing wrong with needing to feel normal.
I really think that the word *normal *is* *often misused and therefore has become sort of a taboo in the community.
If you tell your Special Needs child or anyone else for that matter, that you wish they were *normal*, that would be cruel because it insinuates that there's something wrong with them.
*Normal* is very relative in the sense that normal for me may be different than normal for you. I look at normal as being sort of an individuals equilibrium. For me to feel normal, I need to laugh, have fun and spend time with loved ones.
I think we often confuse the words of *normal *and *typical. *
Every single person on this planet, Autism/Special Needs or not, has a normal. It's unique to each person and it has nothing to do with a perceived disability or lack thereof.
Anyway, I'm desperately needing a sense of normalcy in my life right now. I'm really hoping that Lizze feels up to going out because we know that we won't have another break until sometime in 2019.
Both sets of grandparents (the only people who give us breaks) are dealing with things right now that they really need to focus on. It's absolutely understandable and me bringing that up isn't meant to be a judgment in anyway. Lizze and I completely understand.
At the same time, it makes it even more important that we take advantage of the time we have have right now because we won't have another chance for a long time..
Please remember that it's okay to want or need to feel normal. It makes you human and I think it's all part of selfcare.
At the same time, be aware of how you use the word normal because if used incorrectly, it can be very hurtful. Telling someone, especially in anger, that you wish they were normal, is kinda fucked up. Don't do that.
Saying that you need normalcy in your life or you need to feel normal, is perfectly okay. ☺
