This has been a rough week for us. Actually, it's been a rough recent history for us. We really, really, really need to chalk up some victories here because moral is getting low.
There are some very positive things that have happened recently. The mass in Gavin's arm turned out to be nothing and Lizze's appointment with the Neurological Center for Pain at the Cleveland Clinic went amazingly well (more on that later).
Those are big wins but the losses are big as well and they often outnumber the wins. Here's just a few examples of what I'm currently trying to cope with.
It looks like we're going to get buried by this homeowners claim for the storm damage. At this point, I can't see how this will work out in a positive way. Perhaps it will in the end but right now, it look pretty grim.
Our car is getting worse and we desperately need a new one. I suppose that doesn't really need any further explanation.
We can't seem to get caught up financially. Working from home because I'm a full time caregiver, makes everything money related insanely stressful.
Lizze has been struggling a great deal with her chronic pain and migraines. She's pretty much incapacitated on most days and right now, there's isn't much we can do about it. We're working on it and in time, we are hoping things will improve.
Cognitively speaking, Gavin seems to be getting worse. He's struggling in pretty much every single area of his life and we're having to watch him more closely.
As of yesterday, my Grandpa is back in the hospital. He's a a 10 year old, trapped in the body of an 92 year old WW II vet. He had another stroke about 2 weeks ago. He was released a week ago yesterday and is now back in the hospital again. This time it's numerous blood clots in his lungs, possibly one in his leg and his heart is enlarged.
Elliott is emotionally struggling (mostly extreme anxiety) and it's quite overwhelming for both him and us.
It really has been a shitty week.
We have a 3 day weekend due to the end of the grading period and teacher service days or something.
With Lizze down for the count and the boys being home, sneaking off to visit my Grandpa in the hospital is not going to be easy but I need to figure something out.
Look, I could go on and on but hopefully you get the point. It's hard to remain positive when so many things go wrong. At the same time, I recognize how important it is to be positive, especially in regards to the kids. They emotionally love vicariously through us and anything we feel, they will inevitably feel as well as find some way to blame themselves for it.
Kids in general are very good at finding ways to blame themselves for what the grownups in their life are experiencing.
Anyway....
I'd really like for this ride to stop because I want off. At this point, I'd settle for it slowing down enough so I can tuck and roll.
It's very hard to stay positive sometimes, especially when things are like this. I try to always see the positive but there are times where life just sucks and no amount of positive thinking can fix that. I just have to hunker down and wait it out.
