Gavin had a complete emotional breakdown while at therapy last night, it came out of nowhere and it a big one.
He was playing basketball with Emmett and while he wasn't doing anything wrong, he also wasn't recognizing that he was playing with someone half his size.
I pulled him aside so Dr. Pattie and I could talk to him about it. All we wanted to do was help him understand why Emmett was getting frustrated. That seemed to be the catalyst that broke the flood gates and had him on the floor in the fetal position, borderline hysterical.
It appears that Gavin's been carrying a great deal of pain and regret around with him. For whatever reason, he never told us about this and we only learned about it when he broke down last night.
He was hard to understand and was confusing his emotions. For example, he was clearly angry, yet he says was grieving.
I tried to help him figure out what he was feeling more accurately. It's harder to help him manage his feelings if he doesn't know how to correctly identify them or what he's actually feeling.
If he's angry, he might need to deal with it differently than if was sad.
Honesty, we didn't get anywhere with him in regards to better understanding what he's feeling but we haven't given up on that.
The long and short of it is, Gavin's struggling with *pervasive thinking* and that means he's getting negative thoughts or memories stuck on a loop inside his head. He can't stop thinking about things he finds upsetting and it's driving him crazy.
He can't stop thinking about *every mistake he's ever made *or *how his behaviors have hurt those around him. *Those are his words, not mine.
Gavin doesn't tolerate himself making mistakes or not doing something perfectly. He's always been that way and it has presented many challenges over the years.
We explained that he's the only one upset by these things and that they are all in the past. We want to help him forgive himself and let go, so he can move forward.
He eventually settled down but I don't think we made any headway in helping him address all that's got him upset.
The plan going forward is to focus on helping him identify his emotions and how to subsequently deal with them. We're thinking a visual approach. Perhaps a chart or cheat cards.
We want to help him build the tools and skills he needs to better manage these feelings or emotions.
That's really all we can do. Due to the nature of Gavin's emotional health and his profound cognitive delays, this may simply never click with him.
All we can do is try. We didn't really fix or address anything last night. All we succeeded in doing was helping him to feel better in the moment. That will have to suffice for right now.
