I have a confessions to make. Since our trip to Florida at the beginning of October, my fitness and weight-loss efforts have been out of sync.

Prior to our trip, I was doing pretty well. It wasn’t easy, and I still struggled sometimes, but I was moving in the right direction. While we were gone, sticking to my diet was not really possible because of options available at the time. That being said, I still could have made better choices.

I had been telling myself that once I get back home, I’ll pick up where I left off. As it turns out, that’s easier said than done.

My discipline has gone right out the window and while I’m not gaining weight, I’ve stopped losing it.

Lizze and I talked about this last night. We discussed how we need to both make better decisions and are working in ways to do just that. Unfortunately, it’s an uphill battle and I’m struggling to get myself back on track.

One of the reasons for this struggle is that Depression has the upper hand right now. We came home from Florida, where it was beautiful, warm, inviting and safe, to a place that’s cold, unpleasant and dangerous.

We went from hearing the songs of these beautiful bird and tree frogs, to daily/nightly gunshots and police sirens. Frankly, it’s pretty fucking depressing and for someone like me, that can trigger a few backwards steps.

Depression has the upper hand at the moment but I will weather the storm and make it out the other end. It’s not easy but much of what will help me with my depression, will also help me to continue my fitness and weight-loss journey as well. It’s a kill two birds with one stone kinda thing.

Depression sucks, and there’s no two ways about it.

I want so badly to find the motivation and just get moving but if it were that simple, I’d already have done it.

Still, I’m not giving in and I need to pick myself up. Losing isn’t an option and neither is quiting. This is just part of the journey and I will come out on top. I only need to get up one more time than I fall. ☺