By now most of you know that Gavin is having his wish granted by an amazing organization called Wishes Can Happen. He qualifies for this because he’s living with life threatening health conditions.

This opportunity is probably one of the biggest things to ever happen to my family and Gavin absolutely deserves this.

Every time someone hears about this, their response is usually along the lines of that’s so amazing or he’s so lucky. I’ve even heard things like what a blessing and what a great opportunity.

None of those things are wrong.

It is an amazing opportunity and we do consider it a blessing that this has been made available to Gavin. I don’t take offense to the well intentioned affirmations but I want to make clear that this isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem.

There’s two sides to Gavin being granted something like this and I feel it’s important to share what amounts to the darker side of this.

When Gavin qualified for, and was later approved to have his biggest wish granted, there was a sense of joy. I felt so happy that he would have a chance to be a kid and do something that would likely never be possible otherwise.

After the initial excitement runs its course, reality hit me like a freight train.

Gavin is getting his wish granted and that’s amazing, but Gavin is getting his wish granted and it absolutely breaks my heart. Why is that?

The reason it’s heartbreaking is because wishes are only granted for kids who are either terminal or living with very serious, life threatening conditions. They aren’t granted because he’s just an awesome kid, who deserves to have his wish granted.

I’ve known since he was first diagnosed with these health issues, just how serious they are. He literally almost died a few years ago, as a result of an autonomic crisis that they couldn’t stabilize. There isn’t a day that goes by where I’m not aware of these facts or that at any moment, something could happen that takes him away from us.

While I’ve never forgotten any of these things, learning that he not only qualifies for a wish but it’s actually being granted, is a very bittersweet pill to try and choke down. On one hand I’m so happy that he has this opportunity, but on the other hand, I’m devastated that he has this opportunity.

Does that make sense?

Having this wish granted forces me to face the reality of what Gavin’s dealing with, in a very in my face kinda way.

To say that I have mixed emotions in regards to this trip would be somewhat of an understatement..

Please don’t get me wrong. We’re all very excited and incredibly grateful for this trip. I can’t wait to see Gavin’s eyes light up when he sees Legoland. I just wanted to share the other side of this because there is another side to this.