I started writing this awhile back and never got around to finishing it. As a parent, I always want what’s best for my kids. As a special needs parent, I still want what’s best for my kids, it’s just harder to get there. 

There are a few things that I’m looking to accomplish, that will improve our immediate environment. 

Not being able to take away their struggle or pain, is difficult on me. I wish I could take away all their burdens, just like any other parent would. Unfortunately, that’s not how life works. Like it or not, there’s only so much we have control over. 

Putting focus on what I have a better chance of controlling is what I’ve chosen to do. 

I’ve been thinking about some of the things I can physically do to improve our lives, in a realistic way. These things cost money, but as we slowly improve financially, I’m hoping to be able to figure some of these things out. 

One of the biggest issues we struggle with, is living in an unsafe neighborhood. This really limits our time outside and has robbed the boys of playing in the yard. Moving is simply not an option because we have nowhere else to go. 

I would love to replace our current three foot high, picket fence with something taller, that provides privacy and safety. While not a perfect solution, it will enable to the kids to spend more time outside, without being directly exposed to the some of the things that happen in our neighborhood. 

Maybe that sounds silly but it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. It’s just costly, and we’ve had to prioritize other things. 

We need to replace our horrible couches. They sit really low to the ground and have been destroyed over the years. They aren’t comfortable anymore and there’s not enough room for everyone to sit at the same time. 

My thoughts are that making the house more comfortable physically, it can help everyone emotionally as well. 

This is something that’s realistic because we can hit a resale shop and save a ton of money. We’ve avoided it at this point because of a significant bedbug issues in our area. We’ve never had to deal with that and don’t plan on ever having to do so, if we can help it. ☺ 

One of the other things that’s really important that I get done is restoring my office. It was water damaged and needs repaired. I’m confident that I repaired the issue with the roof because it’s not leaked in a very long time. Putting that back together would be amazing because it would give me a place to write. 

I want to set it up so that the boys have a place to do their homework, or just relax in a calming environment. 

Emmett and I have sketched out a basic design but I can’t find the picture. I think I shared it before, while Lizze and I were separated. 

My dream for the office is to have a lighting control, so I can change the color and brightness of the lights to help the boys relax. I envision a big desk, a small couch and maybe a giant beanbag chair. 

I’ve been wanting to do this for a very long time, but everytime I fixed the water damage, it just leaked again. After awhile, I gave up and it got lost in the land of things I’d like to do but forgot about. 

The idea is to make the best of what we have. Truthfully, we’ve been so blessed to have our home, and there have been times we’ve had to fight to keep it. The neighborhood sucks but we do have some amazing neighbors. 

I’ve realized that while we’ve been here for almost fourteen years, we’ve been so caught up in the struggles of our daily lives, that we never really made our house a home. 

That wasn’t something we did purposefully. It happens when your life is spent constantly putting out fires. After awhile, things just sorta slip away and buried under the enormous pile of things that we need to get done but never get around to. 

Again, these are all just ideas or dreams. Life can sometimes get in the way of stuff like this, but not all of these things are unrealistic. It’s important to always be grateful for the things we have, but at the same time, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to make things better for one’s family.