I know this will sound like a weird question but *Would you take your child with #Autism to a funeral? *
The reason I'm asking, is because it's one question that I'm commonly asked, and I thought it was important enough to discuss. There isn't an easy answer to this question, but I do have a few thoughts.
We've not been in this situation for a long time, but when Gavin was little, there were several deaths in the family and we chose not to take Gavin to the funeral.
That wasn't an easy decision, but after speaking with his mental health professionals, it was deemed to be *not in his best interest *to go*.* At that point, Gavin was roughly five or six years old I believe, and not emotionally equipped to deal with the intensity of all the emotion that he would experience.
The last death we had in the family was Lizze's Grandfather. The boys knew him and visited him on many occasions. We opted to not have them attend the funeral because they would be so overwhelmed by everything they would experience, I honestly don't know of how they would cope.
Again, we sought counsel before making that decision.
As I look to the future, there will be more funerals, hopefully not for a long time. When the time does come, I'm unsure of how we will handle it.
It's been years since my parents dog died, and Elliott still cries himself to sleep sometimes over it. That's a dog.. I can't even imagine how he would process the loss of a family member.
The following list may seem a bit callus, but I'm being blunt. Here are some things to keep in mind when making a decision like this:
- Was your child close to the person who passed?
- Is your child emotionally, developmentally, or even physically able to process what they would be exposed to?
- Would the child receive closure by attending?
- Is your child even old enough to understand what's going on?
- Have you spoken to your child's therapist, if they have one?
- What do you feel is in your child's best interest?
- Be careful not to let what *you want or need *dictate what your special needs child does in this type of situation. It's absolutely understandable to want the family together in a time like this, but sometimes it's not what's best for the child in question.
These are just a few thoughts that I have on the subject, based on my personal experience. Your situation may be totally different because every child is different, and capable of deal with different things.
Let's discuss this....
Do you agree or disagree? Have you had to make a choice like this before? If so, what did you decide and why?
Please leave your comments below and let's share our experiences...
