Tensions seem pretty high right now because people are sick and we're trapped in the house. Lizze and I are both extremely stressed out today and that makes for a *fun *afternoon.
When my resources are as low as they are at the moment, I'm far less tolerant of everything Gavin does.
Normally, I doing well with the amount of patience I seem to have. I don't know of where it comes from but it always seems to be there. Today however, I'm running on fumes and things are getting to me that normally wouldn't.
Gavin's level of functionality is probably the lowest it's ever been, and as a result, I'm essentially having to micromanage his life at this point and it's absolutely exhausting. I know it's not his fault but having to constantly stay ten steps ahead of him is not easy.
To be completely honest, staying ahead of Gavin is a full-time job in and of itself. It's incredibly frustrating because he's seventeen and I wish he could manage his own life.
The ugly truth is that this is only going to get worse with time. With Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, no one knows where the train is going to stop. He could plateau at some point but he hasn't yet. All his other physical and emotional health issues, make things more complicated.
It's heartbreaking...
Putting all of this aside, I need to be a leader and change the course my family is currently on today. Normally I would suggest going to a movie or something, because that would capture their focus and pull them out of their current demeanor.
Unfortunately, this is a bad month for things like that and the boys are still under the weather. My immediate thought is to take them to the Garden Center, let them get some sun and catch some Pokémon. This would be a short trip because I don't want to overdue things, but we need to deviate from our current course before we crash.
For the record:
This entry is not meant to be negative but rather provide insight into the struggles we are facing as a family today. Some people will read this and find comfort in my words, while others may view this as simply me being negative.
To each their own I suppose... ☺
