*Update: I was so frazzled when writing this that I forgot to thank all of you for all the love, support, thoughts and prayers that were sent our way today. It actually means a great deal to us. *☺
There are times I wish I could just speak to my readers directly because it would so much easier to talk than write. Sometimes I struggle with putting words to my emotions and frankly, that is why I don't write more than I do anymore. I'm overwhelmed and lacking the energy to say all I need to say. Please bare with me as I try to explain what happened with Gavin today and do so in a way that makes sense.
It's best I start at the beginning.
I woke up this morning to Lizze and Gavin walking done the steps, trying to talk to me. I fell asleep on the couch last night while we were watching TV. Lizze left me there to sleep because I've been dealing with insomnia and she didn't want to wake me up. None of this matters and I don't why I brought that up other than to share that I finally slept through the night.
Gavin had used the bathroom, and when he was done, he noticed that the toilet was filled with blood. He told Lizze that he had pooped blood and she jumped out of bed, and they both told me.
Unfortunately, Gavin flushed the toilet without letting us first see what had happened.
*Continued --------->*
All morning we talked about how he had pooped blood because we were trying to get as much *accurate *information as possible. I made several calls to key doctors to find out what we should do. That may sound silly, but for a kid like Gavin, we have to be careful.
Rushing him to the emergency room isn't always the right move because, with a compromised immune system, we'd end up exposing him to a million sick people. We obviously don't want to do that unless it's the right move and we don't want to traumatize the poor kid if it can be avoided.
After I had put in all the calls to the doctors and we were just waiting for call backs, I was talking to Gavin about why it's important that we see things like this before he flushes.
I had asked him if he was still having troubles going to the bathroom or if the Miralax was doing its job. His doctor wants him to be pooping at least once a day. As the awkward conversation went on, I asked him if maybe that's what the problem was this morning.
I just wanted to know if he was constipated or not. I asked him if he had to go to the bathroom since this morning and his answer to that simple question sent me on a downward spiral that's left me where I am right now.
Gavin's answered my simple question by telling me that he hasn't pooped yet today.
I looked at him in what probably amounted to the *deer in the headlights *stare because how could he have pooped blood if he hadn't pooped today at all?
After everything that had transpired since he told Lizze and I both that he had pooped blood, he now tells me that he had peed blood. At that point, my head was going to explode.
*Continued --------->*
Gavin proceeded to tell me that he never said he'd pooped blood, even though we'd spent a large part of the morning with that being the only topic of discussion and many questions.
Now I had to call all the doctors and explain because this changes everything that we had to do.
Guys peeing blood is not a good thing because it can mean a serious bladder infection or even worse, a kidney infection. It could mean a few other things, but that was our initial concern because that's what we've always been told by the boy's doctors.
We ended up taking him to the emergency room, and I swear to God we couldn't have picked a worse day to be there than today. It seemed like everyone waiting was dealing with some nasty stomach bug cause so many people around us were puking.
After we had got back to his room and he peed into a cup for the doctor, we waited for what felt like a long time to get the results. When they came back, his urine was perfect. In fact, the ER doctor said that cleanest urine he'd ever seen. That was kind of a weird thing to say, but there was no sign of anything, and we were discharged. We spent about two hours waiting to find out everything was okay.
I'm thrilled that everything was/is okay but WTF?
If he'd filled the toilet with blood as he described to us earlier and he peed once since then, I would think that there would be something residual in his labs.
The question now has to be what happened and why....
Did Gavin pee blood or did he just think he pee'd blood? Maybe he hallucinated it or maybe it was just a little darker than normal, and that freaked him out.
*Continued --------->*
Either way, this demonstrates one of the most difficult parts of parenting Gavin. He's simply not a reliable source of information, and that sucks. That one simple fact makes managing all he has going on an absolute nightmare because unless we witness an event, all we have to go on is what he tells us.
It's possible that he peed blood this morning but then everything had cleared up by the time we got checked out. He peed once before we left for the hospital and it did look a little *brownish *to me, but when he peed at the hospital, it was perfectly normal.
The impression I got from the ER doctor was if this had happened, there should be something detectable. There was zero sign of infection or blood, and so now we're left trying to figure out what the fuck happened because it matters going forward.
The thought has also crossed my mind that maybe he was confused and didn't know where it came from because he always sits to use the bathroom.
I feel like every nerve in my body has been filleted covered in salt and left exposed. I'm frustrated, overwhelmed and part of me is angry because this was scary for us and nothing may have happened in the first place. As far as Gavin was concerned, he was just glad he didn't need to have bloodwork done.
With all the incredibly implausible health issues that Gavin has, things like this come up and they scare the shit out of Lizze and I. I can't even begin to explain what we go through every time something like this happens.
I don't think for even a second that Gavin lied to us. He's just very limited in his ability to provide us with reliable anything resembling reliable information, and while he's doing the best he can, it leaves us in these impossible situations like this.
