Poor Gavin’s had a rough day. The bladder issues he suffers from are getting worse and we have another week before we return to the Cleveland Clinic to discuss our options.

When I went to get the kids from school today, Gavin had to come along because Lizze had a dentist appointment. It was a difficult time for Gavin.

It was quite obvious that things are getting tougher for Gavin. His delusions and the side effects from the meds that are supposed to help with them, are getting worse. There’s little question about that.

When we met with Dr. Pattie on Tuesday, she brought up a point that I’d been trying with a steadfast diligence to put out of my mind. She wanted us to be prepared in case the reality of the situation is that this is the new normal for Gavin.
In other words, this may just be what life for Gavin is going to be like from now on, barring any breakthroughs in the treatment of schizophrenic type disorders.

Lizze and I both weren’t really prepared to hear that, even though it’s the truth and the reality of the situation as well. . .

I’m so overwhelmed by all of this stuff both emotionally and physically .

Everytime I think it’s impossible for my heart to break anymore than it already has, poor Gavin proves that theory wrong.

This alone would be enough to worry and stress over but I have a zillion other things on my mind. Elliott and Emmett are both struggling in their own rights. Then of course there’s things like losing our grocery assistance and trying to make ends meet while not being able to work outside the home because I’m Gavin’s 24/7 caregiver. I’m worried about keeping up with the bills and just about everything else imaginable

There’s no easy solution and this is made even more challenging because I’m consumed with trying to meet everyone’s needs.

Right now I’m focusing on improving what I can where I can. It’s not amounting to much but it’s better than standing still.