So Lizze talked to Gavin’s one teacher today while at breakfast with Elliott and Emmett. She asked about Gavin’s fall down the steps and apparently he did technically fall down two steps.
That being said, he didn’t hurt himself and picked himself back up before running back up the steps.
They said that they kept an eye on him and he was fine the rest of the day.
Gavin actually told the truth, mostly.
While I’m grateful he didn’t get hurt, this is really frustrating. It’s frustrating because mixed into all the lies, resides at least some truth on occasion.
Believe it or not, this makes things more difficult for us because now we truly never know what to think and believe.. We know that most of the time he’s lying to us but also on occasion, he’s at least partially truthful.
It would be easier to deal with this if he wasn’t medically fragile. There wouldn’t be as much riding on whether or not we believed his.
I suppose all we can do is continue to verify his stories and if there aren’t any witnesses, we’ll have to make judgement call based on the current situation….
It’s like he’s trying to throw us off our game and limit out ability to figure out what he’s doing.
What am I saying? Of course he’s doing this to throw us off, that’s what he does……
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i havent read the post before this but i do want to say that you know he is officially “mentally ill”. i want to use the analogy of the law and see if that helps. if he was to do something the law says is bad and went to trial he (hopefully) would be not responsible for his actions because he is mentally ill. i know that probaby makes you think bad things and i dont want you to go there in your head, but even if he is doing some of this or partiallly lying, it is his mental illness. he is not against you and lizzie even thought it really seems like it, but you have to keep saying to yourself that he is mentally ill to save your sanity. you know my kid is chronically ill so i know how important it is for him to tell the truth but my kid is NT and realizes how important it is to tell the truth and keep in mind we had the incident the other day when he said that if i took him to the doctor for that particular event he would never tell me anything wrong again. talk about something that blew my mind and we are both NT. You can get thru this and i am sorry it is happening
Therein lies the problem. You’re absolutely right, he’s mentally ill and the effects how he does things. However, along with the struggles of mental illness, he’s a Sociopath.
This one fact changes everything because he’s not capable of love and has no concern about others.
When he targets someone, he’s doing it because he doesn’t care or respect how they feel. All he knows is that it’s a means to an end.
Knowing what is what, happens to be one of the things driving me crazy..
promise (maybe) last post of the day. dont read this link i am posting here, i just wanted to show you where i am getting my information http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/antisocial-personality-disorder/basics/definition/con-20027920 we know that antisocial personality disorder is the same as sociopath. being a sociopath is a mental illness in itself. you said “however, along with the struggles of mental illness, he’s a sociopath”. It is not “along with” it is another mental illness he did not choose. people have dual diagnosis as you know. the reason i am pointing this out is that he has more than one mental illness. I know you know he is not being a sociopath on purpose even if it seems like it. to me (and I am not living it) that one fact does not change everything “because he is not capable of love and has no concern about others”. it is just harder to love and deal with him (and i know you love him no question) because he is hurting you and your family. if he was like a person in a vegatative state he would not be capable of love and also would not have any concern for others. the difference is he wouldnt be hurting you and your familiy and loving him would be easier because he is not physically and mentally hurting you and you would know he is not in a coma on purpose. i hope this makes sense. i know it drives you crazy and i was just wanting to try to give you some clarity outside of your house. also keep in mind i am just a regular person and have no idea how anything really works. so we are talking on a level of a mom to a dad. if you don’t think i pray that both my kids dont get crazy you would have another thing coming. mental illness usually comes on in the early 20’s. i have one that is 21 and 26. but i will never be out of the woods because anything can happen at anytime because i have lived that as well. take this book (i mean post lol) in the manner it was intended with love and care for your family that is also someone that hurts for yall from afar.
Okay. This is where things become difficult. You’re right in regards to this not being his fault. That being said, it’s very difficult to understand you’ve experienced this personally. To be completely honest, I still struggle to accept that this is real and I live it everyday.
Gavin’s brain is lacking the neurological connects that provide him with a conscience, the ability to bond with people, experience compassion and love.
He’s always been this way and there is absolutely no fix.
Because he doesn’t care and isn’t capable of remorse, he’s capable of anything because the only thing stopping him are consequences or our diligence in monitoring him.
He’s capable to doing really nice things but there’s always an angle. There’s always a self-serving motive.
Factor in the compulsive lying, constant manipulation and the calculating way in which he does things and you have a very dangerous situation.
While I’m still trying to teach him, we are beyond a point where anything will actually help. Our efforts are fruitless and provide zero return for our investment of time and energy. That sound callus but we only have so much time and energy to go around and it must be spent where it will do the most good.
I understand where you’re coming from and I appreciate your thoughtful input. Frankly, you are trying to make sense of something that never will make sense. Trust me, I’m right there with ya. 🙁
ok not last post of the day. when you said “it’s very difficult to understand you’ve experienced this personally.” i think you thought i meant mental illness and/or your situation. when i said “because anything can happen at anytime because i have lived that as well.” I meant that i have lived the part “where anything can happen at anytime” and “as well” meant some of my other stuff like my kid getting adult leukemia at 11, having a autoimmune diesese that only 300 in the US have, getting shot at 18 years old thru an apartment door while i was sleeping by neo nazi wannabe’s because i was at the wrong place at the wrong time. (also you know i am not getting in a pissing match about who has the most trouble but saying my examples) hell man, i say i would have probably gone off the deep end a long time ago if i had your life and others have said they would have gone off the deep end a long time ago if they had my life. Just want to be clear, the part that “i have lived personally” is intended only about what i said which is “that anything can happen at anytime”. All is good. you are right i am trying to make sense out of something that will never make sense. cant help it cause i care. i am in no way trying to get you to defend yourself your family or your actions. i am a fixer as well so i am sorry that my words came out wrong or were misunderstood. let me know if you get what i was saying now cause i want to be clear that when i said “because i have lived that as well” meant the part of anything can happen at anytime. and you hurt my feelings JUST KIDDING ha ha be sure to laugh
Lol. I was referring to the sociopath aspect only. Everyone’s experience is relative.. 🙂