Today's been a really tough day for me. This morning went pretty smooth with the only exception being Gavin messing with Lizze again. He's once again started targeting her and that set the tone for the entire day.
I don't know what we are going to do because we don't have many options left.
His thoughts about our house burning down have me freaked the fuck out because I remember this happening to him before and things got really dark and really scary.
I made a call to his psychiatrist's office and explained what was going on and why I was concerned.
After the nurse that took my message spoke with the doctor, it was decided that they would have to squeeze Gavin next Tuesday for an emergency appointment. We also discussed the possible need to take him to Akron Children's Hospital for possible admittance into the psych unit.
The plan was to try and wait until Tuesday's appointment. However, she called back about 5 minutes later and asked me if I felt he was a danger to himself or others. That's not an easy question but I said that I'm more concerned about everyone else's safety because he's not been self-injurious lately.
She then told us that we should take to to the ER at Akron Children's Hospital for an emergency evaluation.
I don't really know what to do at this point.
Gavin's been there so many times that they stopped admitting him because he's issues are chronic and not acute.
Lizze spoke with Dr. Pattie and her thought is that they likely won't do anything because there isn't really anything they can do. The reality is that she's probably right.
This isn't an easy undertaking either.
We would have to make overnight arrangements for Elliott and Emmett. We would be at the hospital for countless hours because this process is exceedingly slow. If he does get admitted, we will have to make almost daily trips back there for *family therapy* and to be perfectly honest, we can't afford that.
If we take him there, we also risk pissing him off and that would be like poking the bear.
Right now, Lizze is his target of choice and so the risks are somewhat manageable. Lizze feels like it would be a waste of time, effort and our preciously limited resources.
At this point, I have to agree with her. Doing this would cause a huge disruption in everyone's life and likely not bring any benefit.
We will be installing a new alarm on his door so that we wake up if he leaves his bedroom at night. We have also removed anything that he can potentially use as a weapon or to start a fire. Lastly, we will have to be very, very vigilant in keeping a close eye on him.
Right now that's about all we can realistically do.
The other issue is that he b has to have his infusion in the morning and I don't know that they would be able to pull that off while in the psych-unit......
Things are getting really complicated again and I'm not looking forward to having to deal with this shit again. We barely survived the last time this happened.
God help us..
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