The boys went down without much problem tonight. Everything was going well until about 9pm. That's when Gavin came down and told us he couldn't sleep.
I thought it was a simple *he couldn't sleep *kinda thing. Unfortunately, it wasn't even close to being that simple.
When he came downstairs, acting like something was wrong but telling us everything was fine, we knew this wasn't going to be good. In fact, to be completely honest, I got a sinking feeling in my stomach.
I asked him what was wrong and why he couldn't sleep...
He told us that he just couldn't sleep.
Lizze and I knew he wasn't being honest with us because of *how* he was talking. He insisted that he hadn't been doing anything. When I flat out asked him if his *friends *had been keeping him awake, he got angry and literally fell over.
He then told us that he had to send his friends on a really important mission.
He had to send Sonic and the gang into *Rainbow Dash's subconscious with a special canister to retrieve the dark ball of darkness that Sunset Shimmer had implanted in her. *O_o
Later he admitted that when they came back from their mission, he had to *debrief *them and discuss the mission with them.
After that his *friends *went to sleep in the *super robot* and he tried to go to sleep but he couldn't fall asleep.
When I asked him why he couldn't sleep again, I was hoping that was the end of the story but it wasn't. As it turns out, he was laying in bed struggling with this thoughts.
This is where I honestly got freaked out.
He said that he's been thinking about our house burning down. The moment those words left his lips, I got sick to my stomach.
This is a something very, very concerning and I hadn't actually thought about this in years.. In fact, I don't know if I've ever even shared this with you because it occurred before I began blogging.
When Gavin was really young, about Emmett's age, things were really bad.
It was at this point that all of his mental health issues began coming to light. During one of his darkest times, he began waking up at night because he was hearing voices that were telling him to do things.
This voice was eventually called his Lego Boss. * *
Things started getting really creepy because we would wake up in the middle of the night with Gavin standing in our doorway, watching us sleep. I swear to God is was straight out of a horror movie. It was creepy and scary.
He said that he was *protecting us from what the voices were telling him to do. *
It was about that time that the *scary thought *began.
He used to draw these really, really creepy pictures. I'll be honest with you. These pictures were straight *fucked up. *
They all seemed to center around our house being set on fire. He would be standing outside the house on the sidewalk while Lizze, myself and Elliott (who was a newborn), burned alive inside the house.
Once he was properly medicated, this all seemed to somewhat slow down.
The fact that he couldn't sleep tonight because of hallucinations and then factoring in the *I'm thinking about our house buying down* bullshit, it's down right scary. I'm not sure I going to actual sleep tonight.
I'm going to spend Thursday trying to figure out what the hell we are supposed to do.
If things are getting this dark again, I don't think he can stay here. It simply wouldn't be safe for anyone.
I don't know if he needs to be admitted to the psych-unit again for stabilization. All I know for sure is that this *is NOT a good thing. *
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