I’m interested in hearing how you all handle situations in which your child with #Autism, may have been treated wrong. Maybe it was a teacher, fellow student or just some random person.
For example, this week we had the issue with Gavin’s teachers.
How do you react to situations like that? Are you a shoot first ask questions later kind of person? I certainly wouldn’t blame you, as I can be the same way.
Are you the kind of person that takes a cooler heads will prevail approach?
Obviously, your reaction depends on the circumstances. Sometimes, when it comes to my kids, I’m ready to kill someone before I know all the facts. Other times, I realize that there are likely two sides and I want more information before committing homicide. 😉
Be honest. Which person are you?
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If someone messes with your kids, how do you handle it?
I may have a bad reaction in my head but, I am typically a cooler heads kind of person. And, it is very important that I teach my son to have empathy, compassion and mercy. How can I do that if I do not practice it myself? Now, there are circumstances, when I really cannot tolerate someones attitude but, I still try to communicate graciously. And, that is really only with adults who should already know better.
For example, there is a boy in my sons school that has some issues, ADHD and such. He tends to be a bully and not very nice. My son prays for him. I help my son to feel bad for him. I ask my son questions like, do you think he really wants to not play with anyone at recess because he has a hard time being nice?
I have my own pet peeves but, in general I give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that idiot in traffic just found out their spouse was in the hospital, maybe that rude person at the store is having a bad day, maybe the teacher at the school is frustrated, tired and having PMS. I mean they could be having hormone issues, stayed up last night with their child who was throwing up and just found out their spouse is being laid off.
On the empathy thing…I don’t yet know what my son’s capacity for it will be. Some days I have thought he was going to grow up to live in jail because his lack of ability to feel it and more recently, maybe he will grow up to fight for social justice. Seriously, it has been so manic. But, if he proves to be a person who doesn’t “feel” it the way others do, that is not an excuse for not practicing it. My biggest frustration with someone in our family who is undiagnosed but, definitely has autism, is their lack of ability to look at something from anyone elses perspective and is in total denial about it. I have gotten more patient as I realized the issues that were going on. But, it really isn’t an excuse. Not having empathy or being able to try to see another perspective is (and I hope not to offend anyone) a deficit, a disability, a problem. It is not to make anyone feel bad but, I will insist that my son try to learn to recognize his limitations (we all have limitations somewhere). Perhaps he can then use his intellect to respond with empathy, compassion, mercy, forgiveness….even if he doesn’t necessarily feel. it. I know there are all different levels of autism so I am just speaking for my son.
Anyway, all that to say that even if my gut reaction is to be angry and go after someone…I need to show my son how to make the choice to cool off and be a person that exercised mercy and compassion.