Today was a rougher day than most. Gavin had a more difficult day, full of less than stellar decisions. I will say that as the day went on, he did better and for that he deserves credit.
At bedtime, I told him what I always tell him.
I said, Gavin I love you. Have good dreams. Tomorrow is a clean slate, wiped of all today’s mistakes.
Perhaps it sounds a bit cheesy but I want him to know that A) we love him tremendously and B) that everyday we start over with a clean slate. We still have consequences from our actions the previous day but we start over a new, hopefully using the mistakes we made yesterday to help us get through today.
I know most of that is over his head but it helps me to keep things in perspective as well and it’s a nice way to end the day.
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The kids brush their teeth and then my husband goes in my son’s room and lays down with him until he falls asleep and I get to sit on the couch and decompress. This is the way bedtime was set up at our house. One night about 2 yrs ago my 2nd kiddo came out because she wanted to talk to me alone without the possibility of her siblings hearing. It became her nightly ritual. She would come out and talk to me about all the things on her mind including the second time in her short little life that she had suicidal thoughts. It became her therapy along with real therapy. Then about 6 months ago when my oldest moved into her own room my 3rd kiddo wanted to talk after bedtime so we began to switch off days between the 2 as to who goes first. My third kiddo has horrible night time anxiety. She tells me about her day and I send her off to a dream of her choosing as we pray to God. About 3 months ago my son (youngest) got wind of this happening and now after he goes into his room with dad he comes running back out to tell me he can’t go to sleep tonight. He gives me a hug and kiss and runs back into his room. He doesn’t have the slightest idea as to what his sisters and I are doing he just knows that he wants some extra time too. The bad news is my “me” time has dwindled considerably, the good news is that my kids know that o matter what they can come to me with whatever and I am willing to listen. It is something I will never take for granted because I want those lines of communication open as they grow into teens. I may not be that lucky when they get older. I think that reminding them and you that tomorrow is a new day is brilliant. You do such a wonderful job with those boys.