I’ve been an Autism Dad since 2005 and even prior. My oldest just wasn’t diagnosed until 2005. I’d like to say that our journey has been a smooth one bit that would be a lie.
Along this journey, our two other children will be diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum as well.
Our lives are very challenging but also rewarding. Most of all though, our lives are exhausting. Completely and utterly exhausting.
However, knowing everything I know, I would still do it all again.
The simple truth is that not a beat of my heart goes by that I don’t desperately love my kids, challenges and all. I would do anything for them as I already have, countless times.
Having said that, there are things about my life prior to being a special needs parent or Autism Dad, that I miss with every fiber of my being.
One of the things I think I miss the most about my life is probably the stability. Sure, I suppose peace and quite would rank up there at some point as well.
I miss my career. I miss my friends and I miss all the things that stressed me out during that period of my life because they wouldn’t even register anymore. I miss dating my wife and I also miss our health.
With that said, as tempting as it would be to revisit those days, I love my kids too much to ever go back. As exhausting and tiring as they are, I would be lost without them.
What if anything to miss most about your life before becoming an Autism or special needs parent?
This site is managed almost exclusively via WordPress for Android. Please forgive any typos as autocorrect HATES me. 😉
Visit the My Autism Help Forums
To reach me via email, please Contact Me
I miss the sweet bliss of ignorance. I miss the perception that I had of early childhood experiences, bday parties christmas all their first’s, before they were tainted by all the screaming and tantrumming and just complete chaos of their disorder. Sometimes my coworkers make comments about other kids who are different, not really aware of my situation, and I swallow it. As much as I’d love to give them a piece of my mind, a part of me wishes I was them. Completely unaware. I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished. But i would not want to go through it again nor would I wish it on my greatest enemy. So theres a little piece of me bared. 😉
I knew God was preparing me for something and this was it, and the dating scene and no kids wasn’t all that either. Having a child to love is so much more meaningful.
This is funny, I was right out of high school with my first and most difficult so this is my life, I know nothing else but chaos. I would like a little quiet and a lot less fighting.
being over sensitive to people using these words as insults – special, short bus, retard, wearing a helmet, autistic, etc.
I have so much respect for all of you. Love your honesty. 🙂
I dont think i even remember life befor autism anymore Cody was born in 1997 was dxed 2003 Seth born in 2000 is not concidered on the spectrum but was dxed with related disorders in 2010
The career I wanted before the diagnosis. I was scheduled to take the LSAT. But the diagnosis came the day before so I changed my graduate program from law to special education. And now I teach and am an advocate for my friends and family members.
Not having to sleep with one eye and both ears open
Not having to be hypervigilant and on call every minute. Being able to turn off my cell phone. Not being afraid to take a day cruise or overnight trip without worrying every minute that the phone will ring and I won’t be able to get home fast enough. I have been at this for 20 years. How much time do you have…?
Spontaneity.
Being able to visit with/meet for lunch with my friends.
Eating in a grown-up restaurant that doesn’t smell like feet. /:
I miss being able to go more than 10 minutes away from my kids. I am the only one who can calm my son when he is having a meltdown. I have 3 on the spectrum and I suspect that my youngest is as well. There is so much that I do for them. That right now I don’t even remember what life was like before the diagnosis.
^ night out with my partner that is, instead of takin turns because we can’t get a sitter. 🙂
Sleep and a night out now and again.
The thing I miss the most and it goes without saying I wouldn’t have this back and not have my kids is the innocence of prekid lives. You know you just assume sending kids to school (they go next year) is easy you just book them in and away they go no exhaustive research on which one will give him the best integration into normal classrooms, but with counsellors and aides available. How buying clothes wasn’t an issue never gave a thought to sticky outty itchy tags just go shopping see something and get it.
I love my kids beyond measure but I’m certainly not as innocent / naive as I was before having them.
My son with ASD is my first so the things I miss are the things everyone misses about their life before kids. Sleep, money, selfish time, reading books, laying on the couch and watching tv after work instead of doing the second shift. Special needs wise- not having to watch the clock for meds, not living in fear of another meltdown/ seizure, sleep (more then the average parent), free time.
There are a lot of things that have changed. I miss being able to get a full night’s sleep and having the option of taking an afternoon nap on the weekends. I miss being able to crank up the radio and sing along to my favorite songs when in the car (can’t do that now, my kid will scream bloody murder if I open my mouth b/c apparently I’m tone deaf..LOL). I miss the spontaneity–being able to drive down to the beach on a whim or go to the movies. And being able to browse around when out shopping–can’t do that anymore. But even though things are different now, I wouldn’t change anything for the world. I love my little guy and that’s that.
Amazing answers everyone
Going out to eat, work and being social!! But I will sacrifice anything for my princess but my NT son misses out on things cause it’s just not possible with her. That is the only thing that makes me sad! I have to find a solution so my son can do more things.
I honestly don’t miss anything. But, it would be nice to go out with my husband for an adult dinner &/or a movie.
I miss the freedom of independence and spontaneity. I miss the no stress days too.
sleep, spontaneity, and financial flexibility
With my partner not alone LOL
With my partner LOL not alone
I don’t get babysitters so I guess a night out
Nothing! 🙂
I miss my ignorance. I miss going out with my nt kids and having zero stress. I miss enjoying every minute of everyday. I would NOT do it all again. If I could turn back time I would, in half a heartbeat.
I miss spontaneity and control over my future.
Social life lol can’t remember what having one’s like
Sleep!
Everything !!! 🙁