I mentioned earlier that something had happened to Elliott today. For awhile now, I've felt like something was bothering him and for some reason, he wouldn't tell me what that something was.
Everything sorta came to a head today and resulted in a mini nervous breakdown type of thing.
While I'm not saying that's what it was, it's the only way I can think to describe it. He completely broke down and spent a large part of the afternoon sobbing and hiding.
The trigger was when I was fixing his stuffed animal that was missing an eye.
He has this stuffed kitten that was missing an eye. I used an old, no longer used stuffed animal and did a double eye transplant. It worked out really well but in a bid to make him laugh. I glued the duck that donated it's eyes back together but used the old eye from the cat and made it into a cyclops.
Elliott took off running and crying.
I felt so horrible. It was like one minute we were having fun and the next he'd lost it.
Lizze was able to calm him down but he was so upset, we knew that there was more going on.
Thankfully, today was therapy with Dr. Pattie. Lizze and I made arrangements for Gavin and Emmett so we could focus on Elliott tonight.
The four of us talked and we both learned some new things and were reminded of others.
While Elliott wasn't very forthcoming, it was clear that something was wrong. I doubt that we learned everything that's nothing him but something significant was learned.
A huge part of what's going on with Elliott is that he's worried about his Mommy. Every single day, he sees her suffering and in pain and it scares him. He's so sad that Lizze is hurting and he worries about it all the time.
He's never said anything about it until last night.
I've long suspected that what Lizze is going through would impact the boys and Elliott is easily the most sensitive of the three.
He's very much like me, a caretaker and a fixer. Unfortunately, this is something that neither him nor I can fix.
Lizze feels absolutely horrible about this. It's not like any of this is her fault or within her control. She also does a really good job of hiding what she's going through.
Truthfully though, as of late, it's getting harder to hide these things because they are so much worse for her now. The other thing is that Elliott is so perceptive and would likely pick up on things anyway.
At this point the plan is to help him feel more impowered and less helpless.
I think that we are going to have more frequent talks with him about this and make sure that he fully understands that while Mommy is sick and she hurts, she's not the kind of sick that's going to take her away. We've recently had 3 deaths in the family and everyone was sick.
I fear that Elliott has generalized this and now associates being sick like Lizze is and dying.
We have reassured him that she's not dying and that yes, Mommy hurts a lot, she's going to be okay.
This has also motivated Lizze to keep fighting everything she's suffering from. Getting back on her feet won't be easy but I truly believe if anyone can do it, it'll be Lizze.
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