People say that things always get worse before they get better. I really hope they’re right. I mean, I don’t know who said that, so I don’t know if they know what they’re talking about.
Having said that, for the sake of being hopeful, I’m going to assume they are right.
That being the case, things should definitely be getting better soon. They’ve got to get better. They just have to.
I’ve been working on something for two years and it’s about to pay off. However, until then, things are pretty friggin bad. I still can’t get anyone from the gas company to explain why we were shut off. All I’m being told is that it shouldn’t have happened. A supervisor is supposed to be calling me but they haven’t and hold times are ridiculous.
This morning it appears that we’ve lost our Internet connection as well.
Honestly, it’s embarrassing to admit this.
The simple truth is that we are just completely buried with all that life has blessed us with.
As many of you can relate to, this has nothing to do with laziness or irresponsibility. What it does mean is that one or two of the dozens of balls we’re constantly juggling have dropped.
For a long time we’ve managed to keep ahead of the curve. Unfortunately, I’ve stumbled along the way and lost precious ground.
I know that many of you can relate to this, so I don’t really need to explain. However, some of you may not be able to relate and so I’d like to give you an example to help put this into perspective.
As a special needs family, we have to make a lot of tough decisions.
Quite often we find ourselves with very limited resources and lots of things that need attention.
Right now we basically have to choose between keeping the Internet or Gas on and getting both Lizze and Gavin to the Cleveland Clinic next week.
I know there are options like taxi or bus but realistically they’re not practical, especially for someone with special needs or constant pain. We’re in the middle of the Summer so heat isn’t an issue and for right now we can bathe the kids at the grandparents.
It may seem irresponsible to some that have never had to make a decision like this but when your in that position, you can only did what you feel is right. Many times, I find myself picking the best of the bad options.
As I said, I’m really hoping that the old saying that things always get worse before they get better, holds true.
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Hang in there. Things will get better; they always do. Don’t let all the negativity get to you and try to ignore all the judgmental comments. If you’re having issues with utility bills, you might be able to qualify for some kind of emergency assistance. I believe it is temporary and therefore any future help that is needed with the bill in question will require you to reapply.
If I may interject here…Maybe I missed something along the way, but I fail to see how correcting spelling errors and calling someone a panhandler is supposed to equate to expressing concern for this “someone’s” child. If Gavin’s (or any other child’s) well-being was truly a concern, and you wanted to ensure they were being taken care of, anonymous finger-pointing and name-calling probably isn’t the best way to go. Even if what was speculated by the previous commenter WERE true, so what? How does that negatively affect Gavin exactly? Would things be worse for Gavin if this blog didn’t exist and people didn’t want to help the Gorskis out? Would “other special needs parents” have more food in their refrigerators and gas in their cars? And (reaching here, lostandtired, forgive me)…if one did come to the conclusion that the Gorskis are crappy parents and lying freeloaders with the complex agenda of both wanting to get rid of Gavin yet using him for his disability check, what are you doing to help make that better? If the parents’ behavior is really such an issue, don’t you think one of the MANY professionals involved in their care & their children’s care would have tried to correct that or at least address it by now? And IF (reaching again) a trusted professional had addressed their “behaviors” and they didn’t listen or didn’t want to change, why in the world would they listen to YOU?
I hate any censoring of any kind.
Concernedforgavin was voicing thoughts that many other readers may have. They may have been a bit aggressive, but banning them under the auspices of protecting other readers is a bit of a cop out.
everydaymoe well you’re welcome to your opinion but all I did was force people to register before commenting. I can ban guest comments. You missed the point. The point was that @ConcernedAboutGavin was just trying to create drama. We had a discussion on Facebook (myself and my readers) overwhelmingly people wanted that person to go. Quite frankly, it should have been done awhile ago but I didn’t want to go down that road.
It’s not about a difference or opinion. It’s about maintaining an environment where people can feel safe to share and communicate, without having people attacking them.
In the end, it’s my call.
If you can’t play nice, you can’t play at all. I of course me you figuratively. Again, no one’s banned. However, you have to register to comment. This makes things a bit easier to manage.
concernedmom first let me say BRAVO for the post you wrote in response to Rob’s complete incredulity to his being investigated by CPS. Your point by point take down literally had me cheering out loud.
Jharrigan is there a full moon tonight or something. Sigh……
lostandtired Jharrigan Well it is the whole “super moon” thing this weekend with the brightest fullest moon of the year so yes
Hi rob. Just wanted to say I feel you and support you and love your blog. I’m not wanting to get involved with the pot stirrer just wanted to say I think about you and your family often and support you
TJ Isaacson thank-you 🙂
He is hardly attacking…. and a few of his points are valid. Everyone with a different opinion than yours is not attacking you.
concernedmom Accusing other commenters of lying is insulting and attacking. Saying that Rob doesn’t love Gavin and doesn’t want him part of the family is attacking. Describing Elliott and Emmett as “afflicted” is attacking. Describing the blog as parasitic is attacking. Do I need to find more examples?
concernedmom who said that @ConcernedAboutGavin was a he?
lostandtired concernedmom I’m no rocket scientist, but he sounds like he might be Gavin’s Birth Father…. Whose name I know, but am not blasting here on your blog.
concernedmom doubtful, he’d have to have enough active brain cells to even type that stuff. Secondly, he’d have to care in the first place.
The guy is a drug addicted alcoholic and disappeared the first chance he had.
lostandtired concernedmom So glad this is a judgement free zone where nobody gets attacked.
concernedmom lostandtired pot, meet kettle.
Unfortunately, I can’t ban @ConcernedAboutGavin because they are not registered and therefore can’t be banned. However, The workaround is to simply require registration or sign in via, twitter, facebook or LiveFyre. I’ve made the necessary changes. If this person signs up again, they will have to do so by one of those three means. Hopefully this will discourage this type of thing from continuing to happen.
Thanks everyone for all your support and I apologize for this person.
Good idea “Rob”!!! KIDDING!!!!!!
@ConcernedAboutGavin it’s one thing to attack me and quite another to attack one of my readers. Allowing you to continue will impede people from being willing to share. While I’ve never done this before, consider yourself banned. Also, any screen name liked to your IP address will be banned as well. You’ve had your fun at my expense but you won’t have it at my readers.
graysmama megskitchen julh MommaKat jjean3940 @dijitz Please allow me to apologize for taking so long to do this. I’ve never banned anyone before and I really hate to don’t that because @ConcernedAboutGavin exemplifies all that we are trying to address in the world. Having said that, Lost and Tired is a safe and judgement free place to share, learn and grow. How can anyone feel comfortable doing so if you are going to be called names or accused of lying.
Rob, think everyone just needs to stop replying to ConcernedAboutGavin, or annoyomous, or whomever, since I think they are one in the same. While it is getting creepy, the lack of logic is almost comical. I think at this point that responding is only gonna keep him here longer. I know some of the comments are ridiculously cutting, but as you have said, there is NO logic in them. Your loyal readers know who you are and what you stand for. Sometimes the best defense is no defense. You don’t need one.
jjean3940 I am not the only one that has spoken out against “Rob” over the years. I don’t understand how he can have a cult following when he so clearly favors his biological sons over Gavin, and always has. I find it a wonderful touch of Karma that though he thought he gave birth to two perfect sons, they are afflicted too. I thought that would help “Rob” accept and appreciate Gavin more, but he doesn’t. He has always looked for an angle to get rid of Gavin, and just have his little bio nuclear family. Lizzie spends all her time in bed escaping and allowing “Rob” to do this. How would you feel “Rob” if someone rejected and wanted to get rid of your boys, because they are disabled? Think about it, long and hard.
@ConcernedAboutGavin jjean3940 Can you stop saying “Rob” it’s really effing annoying. If he didn’t want Gavin part of his family, why did he fight to do so? Why have they moved Gavin home from his grandparents? Oh that’s right, because they love him and want to keep a closer eye on his health. You’re unbelievable
julh jjean3940 If Gavin is truly the only source of income for this family, that would be a good reason to bring him home from his grandparents after 6 months.
Rob, I so get it. I’m a single mom, youngest is a type 1 diabetic, son recovering / coping with TBI and sensory processing disorder. I’ve been trying to get my own business off the ground for the last two years after losing a teaching job b/c I nearly lost both my younger two in one school year. (ICU stays for both, one in fall, one in Feb.) It sucks to choose between medical care, life sustaining medications, basic utilities and internet when you *need* internet for the business intended to sustain your family. Those posting below don’t have a fig of understanding to hold onto. Don’t pay them any mind – there are hundreds of thousands of families like yours and mine living the reality. It sucks, we carry on, because when life calls on us to lift the car and save a life, we find the energy to do so…
MommaKat You are not telling the truth. If your children are disabled they automatically qualify for free medical care. No you won’t get new porcelain veneers on your front teeth…. but you do not have to let your disabled child die in America due to lack of medical care. You do not have to choose between life sustaining medications and basic utilities. And deep down, if you examine your heart, and look at your bills, you know you are lying and it is not true.
@ConcernedAboutGavin MommaKat That’s not the America the rest of the world hears about. My impression was that if you can’t afford it, you don’t get it.
julh MommaKat Oh it is a common myth, and why people like “Rob” can panhandle online and get away with it. The truth is even if you are an adult, and unemployed, you can still obtain medical care. All county hospitals offer sliding fees based on what you can pay, and if you can pay nothing, you pay nothing. If you are an adult and unemployed and healthy and they are shutting off your utilities, you are probably out of luck. But if you are disabled, or have disabled children, you will receive life line rates, and they are extremely low. Something like $10 a month for water and garbage, and $20 a month for gas and electric. Combine that with the Disability benefits he gets for each member of his family (4) that are disabled, he has an income of at least $3,200 a month, subsidized housing where he pays 1/3 of that income for his rent, then I think he can afford $30 a month for all of his utilities. Don’t you?
@ConcernedAboutGavin julh MommaKat If I understand what I’ve read of the blog (to maintain an informed opinion of the family), only Gavin gets disability benefits. Lizze’s was knocked back when they applied and the E’s don’t get anything.
@ConcernedAboutGavin You have NO idea what you are talking about. Medicare / Medicaid rules of participation set coverage for all insurance companies who then negotiate from there. What is considered a covered treatment often does not fall under the types of disabilities that are dealing with when it comes to our children who contend with chronic illness or special needs. For instance, in our state (Medicare / Medicaid coverage varies from state to state) the number of test strips is limited to 200 per month, but that is the amount a type 2 diabetic might use – not what a child with type 1 autoimmune diabetes must use b/c they make no insulin in the face of beta cell destruction. Those patients need between 350 and 500 test strips per month. Some states will override and cover the needed amount. Others will not. Then there’s the issue of what is considered, from a medical stand point, best practices – again a diabetes example Continuous glucose monitors and insulin pumps – may not be covered medial services by insurance companies. There’s plenty I’ve been forced to pay OOP for with both of my children, and unless you have a child with a chronic illness or special need like an autism spectrum disorder you have NO idea of the rather exorbitant cost of caring for our children. Shame on you for judging others on what you clearly know so little about!!
And as a nurse coordinator for a medicaid MCO, I know this to be true! What MommaKat is saying that is
You know, I had my power cut off this winter, I have electric heat, by state law they could not do it when they did, but they did anyway. I have a disabled son. So yes, they will cut off power to those who are disabled. We were able to pay enough that afternoon to get it back on, but it happens. Maybe where you live the government is more likely to pursue those who break the laws but here, they don’t care. you don’t pay, you don’t get the service. And it is a service, not a right.
megskitchen That just is not true, they will not turn off your utilities (power, water, gas, sewer, garbage) if you have disabled people in your home. Doesn’t have to be children. Yes they will turn off your cable TV and your cell phones and what not. It is illegal to leave a disabled person without utilities, in every single state.
@ConcernedAboutGavin megskitchen are you saying she’s lying?
@ConcernedAboutGavin megskitchen Its illegal to shut off power between Nov 15th and March 15th in WA but there is no provisions for disabled I can find, unless you need power to administer medication that you will die without. And they only enforce the Nov-Mar thing if someone gets sick/is hospitalized or injured or dies. Otherwise you are out of luck. I know this because I complained when my power was cut off Jan 23rd. Because we could make payment arrangements and get it back on, our complaint was ignored. Payments may only have to be 7% of your income (not really very much if your broke) but still have to be made.
Also, for us, once our child was ruled disabled we got medical care, and for two months before the diagnosis/ application date they payed the bills. But if it took months to get diagnosed, we have to pay for all that. Add to that that SSI is based on household income, so if we make too much we loose it, but my husbands insurance covers NO ot or pt or speech therapy, so we are stuck if I work too many hours or find a job that makes a little more, but not enough to cover those.
@ConcernedAboutGavin : Seriously, you need to get off your high horse. Where has he asked for money in this post? Why are you even here if you are adverse to hearing about the real-life struggles of special needs parenting? What a beautiful little world your mind must be!
@dijitz I am here because “Rob” and his panhandling blog is a parasite on the backs of parents with special needs children, and to look out for Gavin.
@ConcernedAboutGavinYou talk like Rob is going around with a gun to their head. He doesn’t force anyone to do anything nobody is going to give money they can’t afford to give or take from their own family to support Rob. I’ve donated before but I’m a single professional with a stable income, right now, I can’t afford to so I’m not. Simple. We don’t need you here, making Rob’s life a misery. What do you think this extra stress you cause does for this family? Including Gavin who you are so “concerned” about. It fucks things up. YOU are making life harder for Gavin and his family. If you actually cared, if you were actually concerned, you’d shut the hell up. You want to help? Go out into your community and volunteer. Help people that need it instead of being a frigging pest
This is such total BS, you are asking for money again. A) no utility company will turn off services to a family with disabled people, that never happens. B) Funny how Lizzie needs more money and special support to get to the doctor, but she could participate in a marathon and go to the zoo recently???? Really I need to put on my hip boots to wade through the BS on your blog.
@concernedAboutGavin you are a sad person and you have my pitty…….
@ConcernedAboutGavin Of course they will turn off utilities for a family with disabled people. Are you really that ignorant? It happens all the damn time. I work for a phone company. While we work with people to a certain degree, we do not just keep people’s service on just based on disabilities or illness even though people need their phones for doctors etc. Some people do get subsidies to pay their bills through government programs but if they are just not able to pay anything then yes their service can get shut off after a certain point if they are unable to follow through with payment plans and extensions. I don’t see where he is begging for money either. Just stating the frustration that a lot of us as special needs parents feel where we are juggling everything at once. I have 30 bucks in my bank account until I get paid next week. I still have to drive to work and to my child’s therapy sessions and day care. I get it. I feel trapped in a lower paying job primarily for insurance reasons. If we make too much we lose qualifying for low cost state medical for our son’s therapy and appointments. State medical we never have to fight for anything. We pay his premiums monthly and his care is always covered. Private insurance and through most employers does not pay a dime for therapy or you have to fight them. My employers insurance wouldn’t even cover speech therapy let alone the OT and PT my son needs.
graysmama You work for the phone company, I’m talking about gas and electric. It isn’t child abuse to go without a phone (you can always borrow a phone) it is child abuse to go without utilities, and local government agencies do not want disabled children freezing to death and filing wrongful deaths suits. So you have no idea what you are talking about. Does “Rob” need a top of the line android phone to blog his panhandling business with, of course not, but children do need utilities. There are so many resources out there, food stamps, disability checks, local government housing office, “Rob” doesn’t need to have a panhandling blog to provide for his children. So “Rob” is pilfering from parents of disabled children to pad his own assets and resources, and it is wrong. How much ya wanna bet “Rob” is sitting in Section 8 housing, or locally subsidized housing? No government won’t guarantee “Rob” a new car to drive, but government (our tax money) does guarantee children do not freeze or starve to death. There is a reason CPS is checking up on this family, too much BS surrounds “Rob”.
BTW, I’m happy to pay taxes to support “Rob” and his children, I have no problem with that, I don’t like “Rob” panhandling from other parents of disabled children, and that is what this blog is about, bottom line.
@ConcernedAboutGavin graysmama
concerned, there is zero logic in any of your statements. We don’t have section 8 and never have. As far as my phone goes, it’s subsidized by the carrier and I sell my previous phone to cover the new one, not that I need to justify to you.
Again, as far as CPS is concerned, the only allegation was that we don’t take the boys to the doctor. That’s it. It was filed by someone that simply wanted to create drama.
I don’t understand your fascination with my family. It’s honestly getting a bit creepy.
lostandtired graysmama You are “splitting hairs” if you don’t have Section 8 “and never have” then you have subsidized housing. Do you not?