Like the title says, today I’m feeling angry. I’m going to be doing a bigger write up on the impact of our being investigated by Child Protective Services later but I need to just vent for a moment.
Whoever decided that it was necessary to create needless and damaging drama, by making a false allegation to Child Protective Services about my wife and I, has made it to the number 1 spot on my shit list.
Even though none of the allegations are true and our name will eventually be cleared, the damage has already been done.
As you know, the investigators interviewed us all, yesterday afternoon.
They were actually quite amazing and understanding.
Having said that, the simple act of having strangers come into the house has been extremely disruptive to this special needs family. Elliott’s anxiety is through the roof and both he and Emmett have been up since 3:30 am, fighting.
Lizze, hasn’t been able to go to sleep because her anxiety has kept her awake. The additional stress that has been thrust upon her has also made most of what she’s going through, worse. As you may or may not know, stress is one of the worst things in the world for someone living with fibromyalgia.
Since this whole thing has transpired, she’s been an emotional wreck.
It doesn’t matter that the allegations will easily be dismissed. The fact that our lives and our privacy have been and will continue to be invaded until this is resolved, is an enormous burden to bare.
I’ve been trying to be the bigger person but you know what? Right now I can’t be.
I feel pissed off, angry, betrayed and honestly, even afraid. What’s to prevent this person from doing this again? I know that everything will be documented but still, all it takes is a 30 second phone call, to throw our lives into chaos.
What’s more upsetting is that we very likely know the person responsible. That makes trusting the people in our lives much more difficult at this point.
Sure, they got us good. We’re upset and stressed out, worried and unable to sleep. Who do you think pays the price for Lizze and I going through this? That’s right, the boys. While they don’t know what’s happened, and they won’t know, they do know that Mommy and Daddy are worried about something. It’s impossible to hide, no matter how careful we are, they pick up on our stress.
I’m sure that the person responsible is reading this and I have a message.
We think we know who you are and in all honesty, you’re a sad person that both Lizze and I feel sorry for. Having said that, you’ve made the number one spot on my shit list.
You’ve had your fun now I suggest you go back to your life and allow us to go back to ours. All is forgiven at this point as remaining angry and bitter will turn us into someone…..truthfully…..like you. We won’t allow that to happen. We’re better than that and besides, we have more important things to worry about.
I think it’s okay for me to be angry. I mean honestly, who wouldn’t be. However, by venting this now, I’m preventing my anger from consuming me. I’ll get through this and move on with my life. In fact, I’ll come out the other side of this, a stronger person.
It’s important to know, like any father, I will go to the ends of the earth to protect my family. I’m creative, determined, resourceful and not someone you want to needlessly anger.
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That is just unbelievable! Honestly, CPS most likely processing false allegations on the daily basis… I was faced with more than one visits because of my ex. Thankfully, local detective put an end to it by informing my ex that he will prosecute him for false claiming. At first, I was scared, then angry, and later just used to seeing cps every 2-3 months. It took the right person after 3 years to pit an end to it…
The only food advise I was given by one of the workers is to move into a small town and get to know your next door neighbors, which I did eventually… But that just doesnt make anyone from stopping by putting in a false claim if for some reason they didn’t like you – just to cause the stress… there is no punishment for false claiming and abuse of the system, where it should be.
kat13 amen. I totally agree….
Wow…I am so sorry you guys have to deal with (excuse my lang) shit like this. I can not comprehend how you guys handle yourselves so well as it is…and again you handle this in a much better way than I ever could. I realize it’s survival mode but still you are thinking of your boys and this is EXACTLY why this call is bullshit and cruel. You two make me proud as a human being and your boys are lucky to have you both. Take care…
Amber
AmberHermiston5 That’s really nice of you to say. 🙂 Thank you. I’m trying to use this experience to create awareness for this type of abuse and it is abuse. I don’t blame CPS because they are simply doing their jobs and thus far, have done so in a very respectful and compassionate way. The problem is that there is no accountability for people who seek to cause harm to others by trying to manipulate the system.
We’re pretty sure we know who this was and there was not an ounce of good faith or concern involved.
Isn’t it possible that someone was really — ignorantly of course — concerned about your boys? I don’t know what you know about this call, but isn’t it possible that there was some honest intent behind it?
It would be so much easier for me if I could (in your shoes) believe, at lest in part, that this came from a place of ignorant well-meaning rather than maliciousness… Better to avoid anger and bitterness. It’s a dark path to go down…
dotdash Idk I kind of doubt there was honest intentions, it’s quite obvious how often they’re taken to the doctors and therapies and specialists etc etc. They’re in no way neglected at all, and anyone who knows them I’m sure knows that. They’re very open about the care for their kids.
Silachan dotdash You may be right. I just mention the other because 1) it could be a neighbor or a passing acquaintance who doesn’t know them and doesn’t read the blog (from which of course it is very obvious the kids gets great medical care). And 2) if there is any chance that it is someone whose intentions were basically good, that is a better thing to believe in than that people are out to get you. Why torture yourself when the explanation could perfectly well be pretty benign, even say something good about people? (that they care about kids and don’t want to see any of them suffer unnecessarily?) This doesn’t take away from the stress and pain and horror of the impact on this particular family, however….
I have never understood people who try to hurt others through their children. It is despicable. It must be awful worrying and not being able to trust anyone anymore. I know it’s not enough but I pray that somehow you’ll all find peace and tranquility throughout this mess. I wish I could do more.
I would be upset and stressed out as well. You care for your boys and they are happy and loved. Deep breaths (hard I know). This too shall pass. Thank you for sharing your world with us. I am mom to a 4 year old with Autsim and ADHD and I share your blog with my husband.
CPS is quite possibly one of the most irritating and over-reactive services on the planet. Your vent is much less than any I have made. Be strong and know that this momentary whirlwind is temporary and shall pass in time. Life is hard in the midst of the storm, but the sun always returns to shine.