In the span of 15 minutes, things went from bad to worse. Dominion just came and shut off our natural gas.

This means no heat, no hot water and no stove.

We’ve been struggling with them for some time now because I have gotten behind. We’ve tried everything, including PIPP (percentage of income payment plan).

Unfortunately, Dominion would not accept PIPP on our account until we got current (which was around $700). PIPP basically makes your payment smaller but doesn’t represent your actual expense.

For example. 

Say my PIPP payment was $50/month. My actual cost was usually at least $200+ per month, often much, much more. During the winter, our house bleeds heat. It’s over a hundred years old and as inefficient as possible. 

Our balance has grown over the past 10 years and now resides in the neighborhood of well over $8,000.

Today, it’s finally caught up to us. 

I don’t think that there is going to be anything I can do. 

I can’t even make the phone calls right now because Emmett won’t leave me alone long enough to spend any time on the phone. 

Lizze is in bed and unable to help. 

I’m absolutely buried right now and doing my best to fight off panic but not doing a good job. 

I’m doing everything I can but I’m failing by epic proportions.

My hands are literally tied and until we figure out what’s going on with Lizze or rather find a way to treat it, I’m spending a lot of time in the single parent category. 

There are so many things that seem to pop up all the time.

Every new thing that pops up ends up being just as important as the previous things left in its wake, sometimes even more so.

Right or wrong, I feel like I should be able to meet everyone’s needs and at the same time, keep us afloat. It’s an always losing, never ending battle. It’s unrealistic of me to expect perfection but how many father’s wouldn’t feel the same way?

The responsibility for all of this rests squarely on my shoulders. I blame only myself because I should have done a better job of managing everything in our lives..
Feeling like an epic failure….

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