Look Rob, you know I’m not your biggest fan. Sometimes I read your blog and am just equal parts like , “WTF”? and just sad for you guys. I think there must be someone in your life who is advising you that the only way to get residential treatment for Gavin is to continually post about how his mere presence is a huge menace to your family. I actually have so much to say that I’m not sure where to begin. Try to calm down and listen though, because I can see your situation VERY VERY clearly. 
Something bothered me a week ago in one of the last vlogs you posted. You were picking up Elliot from school and Gavin called to you from the doorway. The look on your face and the tone in which you spoke to him were so off. off is really the only way I can put it. You were distant and a bit rude, to be honest. All he wanted was to tell you something about his school day and you acted as if you barely knew him. Re-watch the video – it’s heartbreaking. The poor kid won’t even get near the car. 
something else I have to take issue with. in your “with us or against us” rant about your last wraparound meeting – you said that you wanted everyone to stop acting like gavin is the victim. Thats disgusting on so many levels. are you so blind that you can’t see that he IS the victim? how do you think he became who he was? YOU need to stop treating him like he’s the devil spawn. You are NEVER going to find residential treatment for him because he doesn’t need it. He is doing well ay Liz’s parents which proves that the toxic household is yours. for whatever reason – maybe him and the boys don’t mix, fine. But that’s not a reason to have the state puck up the tab for him to live somewhere else. 
also – STOP blaming gavin for everyone else’s “emotional hangovers”. has it occured to you that Emment maybe is just being autistic? or a brat? I know that sounds harsh – but I have a 3 year old and sometimes, HES JUST AN ASSHOLE. I don’t try to blame it on every external force EXECPT for him. guess what – what you’re doing is exactly how you create spoiled children who have zero boundries – autistic or not. I guarantee you that you don’t discipline whim when he’s fighting with elliot or screaming. you just chalk it up to Gavin’s fault and the E’s are in the clear! 
Also – gavin seems pretty with-it. and there’s going to come a time when he goes online and oh, I don’t know, googles himself or his parents. To read on his own mother’s blog that having him near her is “complete hell” is pretty harsh. Have you guys thought of that? maybe he’s already reading it. have you considered the effect that might have on him a year or 2 down the line, or has that not crossed your mind. 
I am sure gavin has major problems, biut the way that you and lizzie write about him, he might as well be the worst kid ever. and that’s just sad. He was fucked up as a baby but that IS NOT HIS FAULT. I know, i know he makes CHOICES now that are his fault but frankly I think that’s bullshit. He’s 13 – these are probably the 2nd most formative years of his life your feelings for him are so crystal clear that its heartbreaking to see. I know i’m not alone in feeling this – i’m pretty sure close members of your “team” and family feel the same way. I don’t blame you for not listening to a stranger, but maybe listen to them. He’s not going into residential care, deal with that fact. Hopefully Lizzie’s parents will love him enough to take this on for the next 5 years because I couldn’t bear the thought of him having to go back to living at your home after all of the negativity that you post about him.