We have arrived home and I'm waiting for Elliott and Emmett to return. I was going to do a quick video blog but I just don't have the energy.
We went over everything with two different doctors, one being in charge of the entire clinic.
I've mentioned before that we are suspecting *reactive attachment disorder*. That is what they believe is the case, rather part of the case.
They said that because of the extreme trauma and abuse that Gavin endured at hands of his biological father and paternal grandmother/family at such an early age, he never developed the neurological connections needed for things like a conscience* *(spelling?), emotional connections etc.
He gave us this analogy. *"If you took a baby that was just born and covered one eye with a patch and left it on for two weeks, the child would never be able to see out of that eye.*"
The reason for this is that because the eye was never used, it never developed the neurological connections needed for it to ever work.
That's essentially what they are saying is responsible for at least part of Gavin's psychological issues.
They told us that we are at the absolute end of the road as far medications are concerned. If these ever stop working, there is nothing left to try.
***The other problem is that there are literally too many problems.* **
How's that for friggin irony?
He told us that *true pediatric *bipolar disorder is so incredibly rare that they have only ever seen 3 or 4 in the Cleveland Clinic. He said it's so rare that it's most likely going to be removed as a diagnosis for children all together.
He said that in most cases kids outgrow the symptoms in their late teens or early adulthood. He said that you *don't outgrow bipolar disorder*, so that means that most of the cases are something else altogether.
He said the same thing for the *schizoaffective disorder *as well. They know that it exists but it to is beyond exceedingly rare...................................................................................................
I'm having a really rough time writing get this. My hands are shaking and I'm sick to my stomach. For that reason alone, I'm just going to cut to the chase.
Basically, the *only *thing left to do is long term residential care. He explained that the reality is that it's Gavin's only chance. There's no fix for what is wrong with him. The only thing we can do is a very, very intensive, in patient treatment....thing. God I can't even think anymore. :-(
Look, I'm sorry, but I'm going to go for now. I just can't do this. My heart has completely broken and I'm so angry at Gavin's biological father and paternal grandmother. This is their fault and I hate them more than words can say. For the record, I'm not going to do anything stupid. They're simply not worth it. That doesn't mean that I can't fucking hate them though.
The boys are in bed and Lizze isn't around at the moment so holding back the tears has become something I can no longer do.
Happy 34 birthday to me.. :-(
I'll get back to you later. Thank you for your support. I love you all.
