The E's stayed with my parents and Gavin with with Lizze's mom. Lizze and used our *alone time* to meet with Dr. Patti tonight. It wasn't the uplifting evening we usually get, most other Tuesday nights.
Tonight's topic, as you have probably already guessed, was Gavin.
This was a very open and honest conversation about Gavin's current state and what direction we are heading in?
This is not a discussion that any parent enjoys having about their child. However, it has become necessary to put all the cards on the table, so to speak and talk about the big pink elephant in the room.
What everything boils down to is this. What is actually happening with Gavin and what, if anything can we do?
Before I go into this, I ask that you please reserve any judgements for another time. Believe it or not, this is difficult enough.
Having said that, we have all come to the realization that there is something seriously, seriously wrong with Gavin. This has nothing to do with autism or other health related issues either.
I came right out and asked Dr. Patti if she thought Gavin hated Lizze. The response was not what I was expecting. Dr. Patti said *that would imply that Gavin was attached to her in the first place*. While not what I was expecting to hear, it put a great many things into perspective.
The truth is that Gavin has already been diagnosed with *Conduct Disorder*. That is the last stop before a diagnosis of *sociopath. *
While Gavin is to young to be diagnosed officially, as he would have to be 18 to be diagnosed, it doesn’t mean we aren't already dealing with that now. We have been seeing the signs for years now.
I know how this sounds but we have literally gone to the moon and back for him. However, this is something that we simply cannot fix. There is absolutely nothing that we can do to stop this train from leaving the station. My friend Carl from *Why Not Fathers* wrote an article called *Autism and Sociopath**.*.* *
This is beyond difficult to accept but not accepting the truth, doesn't change the reality of the situation.
I don't know what we are supposed to and where we go from here. If *Lost and Tired* ever described how I feel, it certainly does so again.
We are meeting with a psychiatrist from the Cleveland Clinic this month. This isn't so much for a second opinion, it instead get another set of eyes on things. At this point, all involved are on the same page and Sociopathy is what everyone is looking at.
I don't have much more to say right now because I feel sick to my stomach over this. I've always known this was true, I just didn't want to believe it.
I'm torn up over this but Lizze is really torn up over this. No amount of *positive thinking or fairly dust* will make this any better.
I'm so completely Lost and Tired. :'(
