I've been meaning to write this for some time now. For some reason, I just never got around to it.
I was reminded recently and have decided to share this with you all now.
Over the past few weeks, I've driven back and forth to Akron Children's Hospital countless times. Gavin's been hospitalized 3 times in the last month or two. During each stay, I had to drive through downtown Akron on a Friday night.
I love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world but goddamn if I'm not jealous of all the people I saw having fun on a Friday night. I remember those days, although truthfully, the memories are becoming more and more fuzzy. I miss having friends and going out on the weekends. I miss being able to unwind behind the handle of a tall, draft beer.
From my car window, it seems like they are all having so much fun.
There was a time before all of this that I was one of those people. I went out at night and chilled with friends.
When Lizze and I were dating, we would go out as often as we could. At some point, the time and distance between nights out, increased to a point that I don't even remember the last time we had a nice dinner and went to a movie. It's sad, really.
Through the window of my car, everyone looks happy and carefree. I realize that from a distance the grass always looks greener but I guess I don't necessarily envy their lives but instead their freedom to be where they are.
Does that make sense?
I don't want their lives, but sometimes it would be nice to have a sense of normalcy.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I've been bit by the green eyed monster. I just get tired of all the drama, trauma, screaming and fighting. It would be nice if things would just slow down for a little while.
Do any of you ever feel the same way?
I would never trade my life for anyone else's but that doesn't mean I don't wish I could incorporate a bit more freedom and fun into mine.
***Thanks for reading***
* -Lost and Tired*
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This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung's Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.
