The boys are in rare form this morning. Lizze is miserable and I've lost a great deal of motivation. I have to make a phone call this morning that I never thought I would have to make.
I have to call a residential treatment facility and make arrangements for Gavin to be admitted.
Just writing this makes me sick to my stomach. The place he would be going is by Lake Erie, north of the Cleveland Clinic. I haven't seen it on a map but I'm pretty sure I'm at least close.
They come highly recommended and we've checked them out before.
I don't want to make this call. I don't want to have anything to do with this. No parent should ever have to do this to their child, it's just not right. However, those of us that have to make this heartbreaking decision, do so out of love, not anger. We do this because we want our child to have a future.
It's difficult to find the words to describe what I'm feeling right now. If this all goes the way we expect it to, we have no idea how long Gavin will be gone.
What do we tell Elliott and Emmett?
How do we *not *feel guilty when life in the *Lost and Tired *household improves because we aren't dealing with Gavin's behaviors?
That's something I would really like to know. Why does doing the right thing have to feel so horribly wrong? Why does it have to hurt so much? Is Gavin going to resent us or worse, even hate us for doing this? How can we explain to him what is going to happen?
Right now, I'm a plethora of emotions and I feel hope, despair, grief, confusion and loss, all at the same time.
Life needs to come with an instruction manual..
This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung's Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.
*-Lost and Tired*
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This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung's Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.
