I know I have said this before but I'm saying it again. I question whether or not I'm strong enough to keep going. It's not that I don't want to, it's just too much.
Days like today I just can't see myself surviving much more of. There is just too many things I have to do and not enough of me to do them.
This whole move thing is killing me. I can't find anywhere to go. I did find a house about a week ago out in Hartville, but we just missed it. There is nothing available that will meet our needs and I'm becoming discouraged.
I feel like every day we stay here, I'm putting my family at risk. It's a horrible feeling, not to mention a helpless one.
Lizze is really in bad shape and so things in general aren't going very well. She goes back to the neurologist on Friday but it likely won't make any difference. She is in so much pain anymore that she's sick to her stomach all the time. Her current migraine has been there for many weeks now.
Emmett is becoming *very* difficult to manage. He's become very aggressive lately and is into absolutely everything. He also has started throwing anything and everything he can get his hands on. He's throughly exhausting and completely overwhelming. The constant screaming...oh god..the constant screaming.
Gavin is driving me crazy because he is either not listening or unable to remember just about anything I tell him. I'm constantly having to repeat myself and I now officially hate the sound of my own voice. He was doing really well for awhile but now he's becoming more and more infantile. While it's not his fault, it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
Elliott is a complete emotional wreck. I have no idea what to do with him. Elliott and Emmett are a *very* volatile combination right now as well. However, that's mostly Emmett's doing. He will hit Elliott or take a toy he's playing with and sets off the emotional eruption that is Mt. Elliott.
I still have to battle the school district and figure out what's going on with Gavin? I have to find a safer place for my family to live and keep us from losing what we already have.
I'm lost, I'm tired and I just need everything to stop. I need catch my breath and keep moving forward.
- Lost and Tired
Posted by Wordpress for Android via Samsungs Epic Touch 4G (provided to me at no charge by Sprint) without the use of proper editing tools and disadvantages of a bastardized version of auto-correct. So please forgive the spelling ;-)
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