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My thoughts6 min read

I can't stop shaking

October 12, 2011

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I'm hoping this makes sense. We had a very close call tonight and right now I'm still shaking... I'm hoping that by writing this down I can start to relax. So if this seems kinda scattered, understand that is's all I can do at this point.

We were coming home from taking Emmett to the doctors because he has been screaming all day long and ended up missing therapy today because we couldn't get him dressed.. He was in a tremendous amount of pain so we wanted to make sure there was nothing else going on. Turns out he's cutting 4 teeth and that's partly why he's been such a grump. Anyway, Elliott and Gavin were with Lizze's mom, out looking for costumes.

As we were turning down one of the side streets around the corner from our house, we passed a few police cars. There was a domestic thing and there were officers in the front yard assisting with that. We drove by and turn onto our street. Our neighbors were outside as we drove by their house. As we pulled in front of our house, Lizze said that I should go talk to our neighbors and make sure everything was ok. I said, sure and handed her the keys to the house. I told her to just take Emmett inside and I would be back in a few minutes.

As I opened the car door, I heard 8 gun shots...bang,bang,bang,bang...bang,bang,bang....bang. You have to understand that, maybe 10 or 15 seconds have gone by since we passed the police cars and pulled in front of the house. So this all happened so fast. I shut the door and went to the back of the van. I don't think I had processed what had happened yet.

Next thing I know an SUV comes tearing around the corner. I was about 6 or 8 feet off the curb at this point and at the back drivers side corner of the van. The SUV swerved and drove right at me. The driver actually was trying to run me down. The only thing I saw was the front and rear passenger windows roll down.

I don't know if they thought I saw something but I hadn't seen anything.

In that moment, I realized what had happened and who they were. I didn't know if they had anymore rounds and if they were going to shoot at me.. The only thing I could think to do in that split second was get away from the van. I figured that if they were going to shoot at me or run me over, I needed to be as far away from the van as I could. This happened so fast that Lizze, thankfully, hadn't even stepped out of the van yet.

I didn't want to take cover behind the van because if they opened fire or smashed into the van trying to run me down......Lizze and Emmett were still in their.

The only thing I had time to do was run away from the van and get behind a large tree in front of our house on the tree lawn. I was hoping that it would draw their attention away my family. As soon as I got behind the tree, I just closed my eyes. I really thought that was it. I thought my time had come.

The few seconds felt like an eternity.

At the last second the SUV swerved to avoid our van and then took off up the alley. In the last second, I heard two loud clanks. One to my right and one to my left.

When I looked down at the ground, not 3 feet from where I was standing was a .45 millimeter hand gun. The second clank, was a .9 millimeter handgun that landed in my neighbors driveway. I'm not a gun person, but the hammers we pulled back on both guns. So I don't know if that means that they could have fired as they hit the ground or not. All I know is the .45 that landed next to me was pointed directly at the van.

The cops were literally 10 seconds behind the SUV. I flagged one of them down and told them what had happened and showed them the guns. I wanted them gone.....

The officer explained that this SUV had opened fire at the house they were at. You know, the one I told you that we had passed on before pulling in front of our house. Thankfully, no one was injured. They don't know who the target was but it was very obvious that the polices were there and yet they opened fire anyway.

Who the fuck shoots at the police. How crazy do you have to be to do something like that. I think that's what scares me.. That these people are crazy enough to do something like that to the police, what can they or will they do to anyone else?

Emmett was freaking out and Lizze is having a panic attack because the both saw the SUV driving towards me. Myself....I can't stop shaking. Gavin and Elliott have no idea what happened, as they came home much later.

I had just stopped for gas before returning home. If I had pumped $13.00 of gas instead of $12.00, we might have been caught in the crossfire. We only missed it by seconds.

Barely one month ago, there was another shooting and stabbing (See: *Senseless*). One of the people involved collapsed in front of my house. I held his intestines in with my hands while EMS was en route. Two people died that night, including the one I was trying to help.

What are we supposed to do? Lizze wants to move and I have to say that I agree with her. We aren't really tied to the house but we have nowhere else to go. We can't move to an apartment or townhouse because of the meltdowns and screaming. That's actually why we moved here. We were going to be kicked out of our townhouse because people were complaining about Gavin's meltdowns and I really can't blame them.

We have to be safe. I have to get my family out of here and into a better situation. I just don't know how to do that. Are there any agencies out there that could help with a relocation? Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? I'm open to any ideas that could help me protect my family.

There has to be a way to pull this off. There has to be options.....  Please, if you have any experience in this type of thing please let me know. I need a direction to go in.

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