I mentioned the other day that Gavin has an appointment with the Allergist/Immunologist tomorrow morning. We actually got the paperwork in the mail this afternoon. We glanced over it briefly, thinking we would fill it all out tonight after the kids go down for the night. One of the things we missed while glancing over the paperwork this afternoon was the paper explaining about the scratch testing they intend to do during the visit. When I read that, I immediately got sick to my stomach.
I know *exactly* how this is going to go and it won't go well. Gavin will not like laying down on his stomach and not being able to see whats happening. They will have to do it that way because Gavin will *never* allow them to it on his arm. That will send him into an anxiety filled panic which will evolve into a meltdown. When they actually do the scratching, he will scream in ways that will haunt Lizze and I both. It's absolutely horrible when he screams like that. He will have to be held down and I can't explain what that feels like. My every instinct is to protect him from this but in order to protect him I have to let it happen, for that matter I may have to help hold him down.
I know I said that I was going to try and remain positive but no amount of fairy dust or warm fuzzy thoughts are going to make this any more bearable. I almost wish we had been surprised by this when we arrived but instead I'm sitting here envisioning how this is going to go. I'm also very concerned about the impact this will have on Lizze and there will be no way for me to keep her away. She will never let that happen.
I know this is part of the process of getting to the bottom of things but going through something like this will kill the rest of the week. Not only that, but poor Gavin will pushed over the edge and if I thought he was struggling now..........
Part of my concern is that Gavin will never forget this happened. So now every time we go to the doctors he will be even more anxious then *normal*. Gavin generalizing many things in his life. For example, if Grandma takes him to Walmart and buys him a toy, Gavin associates going to Walmart with getting a toy. This is something we have struggled with for many, many years. We dealt with that over Easter this year as well. It's very difficult to help him move past these situations.
Hopefully if this does indeed happen, we will be able to help him through it and also minimize the fall out. It's going to be a VERY long day......
