I have been pretty open about my battle with depression.  While it’s not always easy to talk about,  it’s important to talk about. 
I realized I was dealing with depression again a few weeks ago.  I had become a bit…….obsessed with my health.  I started freaking out over everything I thought was wrong with me.  It got to the point where everything became harder and harder to “maintain”.

I sat down and had a very honest conversation with my wife and she agreed that I was most likely dealing with depression again. A few days later I met with my doctor and got myself back on paxil, an antidepressant. 

I have been back on paxil for a couple weeks now.  Overall,  I feel much better but I still struggle.  The more stressed out I become the worse the depression gets…at least that’s how it feels. 

I’m in one of those “tailspin” places right now.  Learning that Gavin may have Childhood Disintegrative Disorder has me walking a pretty fine line at the moment.  I’m finding myself worrying about irrational things once again.

It really is a struggle to resist the overwhelming urge to give into these irrational fears.  However,  giving into them will not help me or my family to get through this challenging time with Gavin.

I’m very worried about Gavin and I’m overwhelmed and terrified by the very real possibility that he could have Childhood Disintegrative Disorder. This whole thing is just is taking it’s toll on me right now.

I’m so glad that I talked to my doctor and got back on meds because I can  only imagine how much more I would be struggling with this if I hadn’t.

I have good days and not so good days,  just like everyone else.  My hope is by sharing my story that someone out there may choose to get help if they need it. 

– Lost and Tired

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