I haven’t posted in a few days… The past couple of days have been pretty hard for me. Emmett is REALLY getting frustrating. I love him completely but my God he is going to push me over the edge… We just can’t seem to figure him out. He is becoming increasingly more violent to both Lizze and Elliott. Gavin gets it as well. I’m the only one he doesn’t actively seem to target. I wish I knew how to deal with these behaviors. He is developmentally about 11 or 12 months old. How do you discipline a child that age, let alone one who has very little ability to communicate.

I wish I had more energy to deal with these things a bit more aggressively but I don’t. I live in a house where everyone around me is struggling. They are all like little black holes that just suck the life and energy right out of me. I know that sounds bad but that’s the best way I can think to describe it. I’m beyond exhausted and overwhelmed. There really aren’t words to describe just how tired I am.

Lizze is completely miserable. She has been doubled over in pain all weekend. It reminds me of when she was in labor. She is trying to breathe through the cramping. Something has to give. I don’t know how much more she can physically take. You can just see the despair in her eyes and I’m felt like a helpless observer most of the time. We are still waiting to find out when she is having her surgery. It seems to be taking forever. I need to call Dr. D tomorrow and see why they are taking so long….

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