Have you check into community services in your area? Most of my students receive some of help through the mental health services in our area. Most frequently this help is a community access provider coming to the house and either helping the child with skills at home, eating, bathing, homework, bed time etc or taking the child on outings in the community or some combination of both. I strongly suggest you look into this. Ask your sons' schools or doctors if you don't know where to start.