We are still trying to figure out what we are going to have to do with Gavin. The timing of everything is really bad. Not that any other time would be good, really, just better then this. Part of our strategy is to keep him as stimulation free as possible…  That is key for him to stay afloat. That means making tough decisions, like avoiding gatherings for example. I don’t know how to decide these things anymore. I don’t want to be making a decision out of frustration and strip him of something he might otherwise enjoy. It’s really easy to get caught up in that type of thing when dealing with what we are dealing with.. However the reality is that he will probably not do well. Is it even fair of us to put him in that type of situation? What about the other kids? They pay a very high price for Gavin’s behaviors…I don’t feel like explaining to everyone why Gavin has bruises and scratches on his face and extremities… I hate having to explain it to Elliott and Gavin’s teachers… His teachers seem to think he walks on water and it’s tough to get the reality of this situations across to them. Poor Elliott is so confused by Gavin’s behaviors not to mention frightened…..

I know we will probably all go tomorrow to see family and at some point Gavin will lose his temper. These are things that we know to be an “absolute” when it comes to Gavin. Nothing about this is easy and I just can’t seem to relax. I can’t seem to enjoy the holiday’s anymore. I try to as best I can for the sake of the 2 youngest but it’s getting more and more difficult as Gavin’s behaviors become more and more extreme and dangerous.