I realize this may not be politically correct but it’s my reality and my blog. I said I would be honest and this is honestly my life.
I have been doing the special needs parenting thing for 1/3 of my life already. One thing I have learned along the way is that you love your kids the way the are but you fight what is taking them away. Autism is a disorder pure and simple. It’s not a personality trait. Autism is listed in the DSM-V along with things like bipolar and depression.
We don’t know enough about Autism to know exactly what is going on in the brain to cause it. We do know FOR SURE THAT VACCINES DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM. That is a scientific fact and it does the community and our kids an extreme disservice to continue to spread that type of bad information around because it detracts from research into an actual real life cause. To much time and money goes into trying to extinguish the fires caused by the idiotic word vomit of Dr. Wakefield (or rather the ex-Dr. Wakefield as his right to practice medicine has been stripped away).
But I have gotten away from my point. My point is that Autism is something that we have choosen to fight. I truly hope there will be a cure in my lifetime. I never understand it when someone says that they are blessed to have a child with Autism. Autism is not a blessing. My Autistic children have taught me to be a better person. They have taught me many things about myself and I love them more then anything in the world.
I love them enough to continue to do battle with Autism every day. I fight to educate them and in Emmett’s case I fight to overcome the developmental road blocks put in place by Autism/PDD that prevent him from being able to communicate with his world. In Gavins case we battle a very rare form of Autism as well as a host of other mental health issues in order to simply keep him living at home. We fight the disorders that cause him to see and hear things that aren’t there. We fight to rid him of the movement disorder that cause him to lose control over his body.
We fight these battles not because we are unhappy with who are kids are but because we want the best for them. We want to allow them to reach whatever potential they are capable of. We want the same things for our kids that every parent what’s for their kids. We aren’t looking to make our own lives easier. We just want our kids to be happy and healthy. I see Autism as a filter that only allows part of who my kids are to come out, especially in Gavins case. If we could somehow remove that filter we could see more of who are kids are.
So maybe I’m in the minority (and I’m sure I’ll get some hate mail over this) but I want to remove the “mask” that is Autism and allow my kids to be free. I will fight every day of my life to help them overcome the mountains that are ahead of them on their journey. That said, we will never lose sight or be blinded to what really matters. We spend every day with our kids. We are very involved in ther education and therapies. We love them for who the are but strive to free them from the prison that is Autism.
Simply: it's not YOUR life you want to make easier; but theirs.
That is what I want for them. Sure our lives can suck at times but as parents we can take it. What I can't take however, is watching my kids struggle.