I came up stairs to go to bed and EJ is peacefully sleeping. In the next few hours he will most likely start screaming. I wish I knew what was wrong. I wish he could tell us.
I wonder if he will ever speak. If he does, what will his first word be? Sometimes the pain is just to much to bear. I wish the rest of the world would understand what this is like. I be happy if just the part of the world I crossed paths with understood.
I wish bill collectors would understand that things are really rough for my family at the moment and stop asking for money I don't have to give them. I wish there was a visible sign I could wear that would show everyone that I'm barely holding it together right now so please be kind to me.
There is a movie called "powder" the kid as the power to make people feel what you are feeling. I wish I had that power sometimes. It would help other to better understand the constant emotional roller coaster that is Autism.
Right now I just wish I could stop thinking and worrying about tomorrow long enough to sleep...
LT
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