I’m super proud of myself because of the dumbest thing

For the last couple of weeks, all the unwanted attention I receive from chronic sleep deprivation has rendered be useless during the day while the boys are at school. After getting the boys to school, I would come home and basically crash for at least a few hours because I was so exhausted. It's really frustrating for me because I want to sleep and night and not during the day. As an Autism Dad, I have a take what I can when I can, beggars can't be choosers kind of approach to sleep. The reason I'm proud of myself today is because so far,  I've made it without a nap. That hasn't happened in a long time and the crazy thing is I'm feeling pretty damn good right now. Gavin…

2 Comments

We faced several challenges this morning 

I was able to nab a whopping four hours of sleep last night. Surprisingly though, I don't feel too bad today.  We started off the morning convincing Elliott that he had to go to school, even in he didn't like his hair. He actually took more work this morning than Emmett did in regards to putting his shoes and socks on.  When we arrived at the school, I walked the boys in because I promised Elliott I would let the school know he was upset about his hair.  We ended up speaking with the principal about it and he said that he really liked Elliott's haircut but that he would let the teachers know that he's stressed out over it.  When I left the boys and headed home, Elliott was…

0 Comments

The Good, Bad and Ugly: The Bad

Now that we've discussed the good and the ugly, it's time for the bad.  The bad began very early in the morning with Emmett and his shoes/socks. It took forever to work him into them, so we could head out the door.  The meltdown was significant and had a lasting impact on all of us, especially poor Emmett.  Perhaps the worst part of the bad from yesterday is in regards to Elliott. One of the errands we had to run was getting the boys haircuts. We were finally able to convince Elliott to get his hair cut shorter. While his hair looks really good now, it ended up being shorter than he'd wanted.  Rather than take it in stride, it controlled him for the rest of the day.  He said…

0 Comments

The Good, Bad and Ugly: The Good

Now that we've talked about the ugly and gotten that over with, let's balance things out with the good.. ☺  I'll begin by sharing that the boys both had amazing days at school. Elliott lost a point and ended up having a green day instead of a teal day, whatever the fuck that means. Green seems like it would be a good color.  Either way, it was a good day.  After the boys got home and I was feeling better, we ran some errands and went to CiCi's Pizza for dinner as a family.  That doesn't happen very often at all and it was really nice.  The absolute highlight of my day took place after we got home from dinner and the errands we had to run.  Emmett has a report…

4 Comments

The Good, Bad and Ugly: The Ugly

As days go, yesterday was a mixed bag of good, bad and ugly. This post and the following two will each explore things that happened yesterday.  Let's start with the ugly and just rip the bandage off right away.  It was about mid-morning (9:00 am-ish), when out of nowhere, I got really sick. I don't know what it was but it was horrible. I had to go back to bed. I had reflux really bad and when I would fall asleep, acid would creep up causing me to wake up, unable to breathe.  This happened a few times, even sleeping propped up and it was fucking scary because I was gasping for air. I had to aggressively clear my throat in order to be able to breathe again.  Emmett used…

2 Comments

The 3 MAJOR things that have contributed to my depression 

It's been a really, really long day for me and I apologize for not getting to this sooner. I wanted to update you on how my first solo therapy appointment went today.  I have been managing my depression pretty well for most of my life. I take my meds and talked to our longtime family therapist when I feel the need. Lately, that hasn't been enough.  Those of you who've been around for a long time can probably tell when I struggle more because it impacts my writing.  I've had a few concerned readers urge me to get my own therapist but what I was doing at the time, was working for me.  Having said that, I've struggling more lately and after hearing what everyone had to say and talking…

2 Comments

I made a very big decision in regards to my #depression

This will be a super quick post but important nonetheless. I've been very open about my struggles with depression. I'm not ashamed and I truly hope doing so helps at least one other person to open up about their struggle with depression. I made a major decision about how I'm managing my depression. Some of you will be happy to hear this and others will just be gaining insight. This has been a sort of hot button issue between myself and some of my concerned readers. For many years, I've taken the same approach to my depression management and its worked for the most part. However, after some soul searching and discussions with my wife, I've decided that I will begin seeing someone outside of our family therapist. This will…

6 Comments

This felt like an accomplishment today

The boys both had really good days at school today. Gavin's infusion went off without a hitch and aside from his joints popping out of socket, he's had a good day as well. A large part of my awake time today was spent rebuilding my server. You may not know this but I donate server space to a couple Autism related sites, one of which was met with an exploit that spread to another site. It took some time, patience and a bit more patience but I was able to get everything rebuilt, cleaned and back online. I'm actually getting pretty good at managing the server side of things and it felt like an accomplishment when I was done. While it's frustrating when these things come up, it's important for…

Comments Off on This felt like an accomplishment today