Since venturing into single parenthood, I've been forced to make some significant changes in my life. Unfortunately, I'm only one person, and my kids require every ounce of everything I have. To survive right now, I have to take on only what is absolutely necessary and let go of whatever I can. I've been talking with the boys for a few weeks about rehoming our ferrets. It kills me even to consider this because they've already lost so much over the last year, but we're no longer in a place where we are managing our lives efficiently or effectively. Everyone in the house is struggling, and we need to be able to let go of some things so we can pick up what we must, and move forward. This was…

So I forgot to share this little tidbit of information. School has been cancled for at least today because of so many kids being out sick. It would make sense that if it's that bad, they include Friday as well but whatever. I'm not sure what's going around but if it's that bad, I may have to think about keeping Elliott home in Friday. When you have a child with a compromised immune system in your home, you have to be so careful with things like this. If Elliott brings something into the house, it puts Gavin at risk. If it's bad enough that they're shutting the school down, I have to think about the how to keep Gavin safe. Hopefully, they'll write off the rest of the week and…

Today has not gone as planned. Elliott didn't sleep well at all last night and was beyind exhausted and not feeling well this morning. Emmett was up on and off with nightmares as well. That means that I got a really shitty night's sleep myself. Elliott was unable to make it to school this morning which sorta changes my calculus for the day. In fact, he was so exhausted, he did wake up until about 1PM. Even at that point he looked like death warmed over. I did make further progress with Emmett and home instruction. I was able to get the signed copy of the letter to the school and I should be hearing back from the principal in short order. The kids were supposed to see their mom…

We had a frustrating therapy session tonight. The boys are very frustrated about certain things that I can't help them with. They will talk to me about what's bothing them because A) they trust me, and B) because I'm there in the moment when they need to talk. Outside of those moments, they do not want to talk about what's bothering them and instead internalize it. This is a very frustrating because the things that are upsetting them, I can't do anything about. They live in a very black and white world and tend to view things through that lens, especially when those things are emotionally charged. They feel like once they tell me, their job is done and I can pass it along to the therapist. While that's true,…

As a family, we had a pretty decent day. There was no real excitement and that's the kind of day I like to have whenever possible. Gavin had his IVIG Infusion, while I got some work done and the E's played the Xbox together. There was no fighting the entire day and I can't remember when the last time that happened. I've been very focused on the arrangements needed for our upcoming trip. I'm getting really nervous about this because I'm on my own and won't have any help. On many occasions, I find myself struggling at home, and the idea of taking the kids on a 2,200 mile+ cross country drive makes me wonder if I've lost my mind. The reality is that I question my abilities all the…

We had a pretty good day. The kids arrived home from their mom and grandparents house around noon, and we had a quiet afternoon. Gavin decided he wanted pizza and chicken for his birthday dinner. We're not actually celebrating his birthday until Sunday but we always do a special dinner on the actual day. We started that tradition because there were times in the past where money was so tight, ordering dinner wasn't easy. On birthdays, we wanted the kids to have something special, something that we couldn't do very often. Anyway, I ordered Gavin's dinner and we watched  Impractical Jokers. It was a nice evening. Tomorrow, we're going bowling and out to dinner with family. It's kind of a unique way to celebrate his birthday. There's no school on…