special needs children Archives - Page 162 of 172

I’m approaching three heartbreaking milestones

The next few weeks are going to be very difficult for me. I'm an emotional person and it's not easy for me to let go of the things I truly love. Milestone One August 24th will be my 37th birthday and the first of three milestones. I've celebrated every single one of my birthdays, since 2001, with my wife. Even if we couldn't afford to really do anything special, we were still together and that was all I really needed. This time however, I'll be on my own and don't really know what to do. I don't care how this makes me sound and truthfully, I don't miss the person my wife has become. I do however, miss what I thought I had terribly. Milestone Two About a week…

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August 18, 2015

Divorce / My thoughts

Divorce: I don’t know what to do with the pictures of my wife and I

Last night I was filtering throu my Dropbox to find pictures for my Instagram. I wasn't really thinking I guess because I found pictures that I just don't know what to do with anymore. The pictures in question are of my wife and I before she left. I wouldn't get rid of the pictures of her and the kids because the boys might want to see them someday. The pictures taken of just my wife and I are really painful to see. When I see them, everything that has happened just sorta washes away and I wish I could be in that moment once again. I don't know what to do with these memories frozen in time.. Keeping them seems pointless because they'll never happen again but throwing them…

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August 18, 2015

My thoughts

Are you ever so tired that your can’t sleep?

I was so incredibly tired last night. I climbed into bed, well before midnight and planned on just passing out and relishing the extra sleep I was going to be giving myself. Unfortunately, that sleep never arrived until many hours later. I laid in bed and closed my eyes but my brain just wouldn't shutdown. Every single thing in my life that causes me stress or worry was being processed last night. I couldn't stop thinking about my divorce, how it's impacting the boys and my constant worry about Gavin's worsening symptoms. It seems like such a cruel twist of fate to be so tired and yet unable to sleep.

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August 18, 2015

Today's Victory

Today’s Victory: Survival

It was a really difficult day but that doesn't mean there isn't anything for me to be grateful for... Sometimes when your a special needs parent and despite your best efforts, you just can't tip the scales in your direction. This happens quite a bit in my life but on those days, I don't focus on what I couldn't do. The truth is that sometimes, the biggest victory of all is that you physically and emotionally survived the day.. 😉

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August 18, 2015

Gavin / My thoughts

My heart breaks for Gavin tonight :(

Gavin's been through so much in his 15 years on this Earth. If fact, he's been through more in his 15 year than most will in an entire lifetime. Do you know how many times he's complained over the years? Zero, as in not one time. Gavin just takes whatever's dealt him and rolls with it. It's truly amazing.. It's really hard for me to see Gavin suffering and there is nothing I can do to help him. Gavin is one of those kids who just can't catch a break. His emotional and physical health are so complex that no one really knows for sure what to make of it. One of the things we do know for sure is that he doesn't have a functional immune system of…

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August 17, 2015

Meltdowns / My thoughts

It’s been a multiple meltdown Monday

Deep breath... Count to 10.... Get your butt in timeout.... Those are the things I kept telling myself today as I tried my best to help the kids make it through what turned out to be a very, very challenging day. Elliott has had no less than 6 meltdowns today. Emmett put his name on the ballot with a few meltdowns himself as well. The most concerning for me personally though was Gavin. For the sake of keeping this post brief, I'll just say that Gavin's spent a large part of today being very frustrated with himself. He's right on the edge of having a full blown stomping, kicking, screaming and self injurious meltdown. It's been so long since I've seen him like this and I'm not sure what's…

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August 17, 2015

Elliott / My thoughts

My son with #Autism wrote a note and it brought me to tears

I was going through the left over papers from last school year and I stumbled across this. It was written by Elliott about himself. The circumstances in which he wrote this are unknown to me at the moment. I really felt a surge of pride for him when I read it. He spends so much time feeling down, anxious, overwhelmed, angry and just generally freaked out, that reading what he wrote about himself feels so good. I'm not gonna lie, I teared up a bit because when you have a child that's struggling, seeing any sign of positivity breathes new hope into your life.. I realize that the note is from earlier in the year but that doesn't matter because sometimes you just need a little reminder for hope…

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August 17, 2015

My thoughts

Monday’s off to a pretty good start :)

I mentioned in a previous post that we are moving to our school schedule about 2 weeks prior to the first day back. The boys need ample time to adjust and then a helps to accomplish that. I've been up and moving since my alarm went off this morning as well. No desperately needed naps for this guy. I pushed through the exhaustion and found my second wind. 😀 I got my 20 minutes on the treadmill, which kicked my ass but I feel really good. I do not like walking or running on the treadmill because it's harder to track actually distance with any degree of accuracy. Walking the track at the park is like my absolute favorite thing to do at this point in my newly single Dad…

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August 17, 2015