Sensory Archives - Page 414 of 471

I feel horrible because I can’t take hearing about his delusions and hallucinations anymore

Gavin's been really sorta out there, even more so than normal. He's wanting to update us as to what's going on in his world, much more often than before. I don't have the ability to adequately express, just how exhausting, demoralizing, heartbreaking and overwhelming it is to constantly hear about all the things he's doing. It's a constant reminder of just how bad the situation is and how powerless we are to help him. Anymore, I'm having to tell him that I can't listen right now. I don't know what else to do because I can't take any more. Lizze and I try to take turns listening, so the other gets a break but Gavin likes to tells us both at the same time. This has become what feels like…

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September 16, 2016

General Update

Marriage counseling didn’t happen today

Today's been one of those days where absolutely nothing goes as planned. For starters, both Elliott and Emmett were home sick. There's something going around and we were one of the lucky families to catch it. Having the boys home meant that the appointment we had for marriage counseling would have to be rescheduled and that sucks. Lizze and I have been looking forward to this appointment because we're anxious to learn as many tools as we can to help us better navigate all the things in our life that can impact our marriage. Obviously, the boys come first and getting sick wasn't really anything anyone has any control over. It appears that everyone is feeling better and should be returning to school this morning. I love…

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September 16, 2016

My thoughts

It’s not easy to remain positive in the face of heartbreaking news but giving up is not an option

It's pretty obvious that I've been thrown off since Monday's appointment with Gavin's psychiatrist. As a parent, it's so hard to just shake it off because it's dealing with the life of my child. At the same time, life goes on and never slows down just to let me catch up. I sorta have to grieve on the run because while I'm struggling to process the bad news, there are a million new things that must be dealt with and an infinite amount of things still piled up in the back burner. Between the heartbreaking news about Gavin, living with Gavin's incessant over-sharing and everything else going on, I've just sorta crashed. I'm struggling to remain positive. Hopeful that someone will think of something, that could help Gavin or…

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September 15, 2016

My thoughts

We have our first marriage counseling appointment today

When Lizze and I decided to put our family back together, there were a few things that we wanted to make sure we did. Lizze and I don't have any major issues between us and the reasons for our separation didn't really have anything to do us. It was a combination of several things but that's not really the point. One of the things that we wanted to do differently this time around was to be more cognizant of our own needs and make sure we take better care of ourselves and each other. It's so easy to get wrapped up in taking care of all the kids, that we fail to take care of ourselves. Marriage counseling is being employed as a means of gaining new tools to…

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September 15, 2016

Elliott / Emmett John / IEP Meeting

What happens when you have not one but two IEP meetings in a row?

Putting aside all of the heartbreaking events from the first part of this week, Lizze and I had to focus our attention elsewhere today. Unfortunately, it wasn't anything super fun. We spent the late morning, early afternoon knee deep in IEP meetings. You heard me right. Meetings, as in more than one. O_o It's not as bad as it sounds. IEP meetings at my kids school are a breeze compared to our experience with the public school system. There's no such thing as a fun IEP meeting. Just like there's no such thing as a fun root canal. That said, I don't really remember having too much trouble with IEP meetings at this school over the last decade. Today wasn't any different, aside from doubling up on everything to…

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September 14, 2016

Clozapine / Gavin

Day 2 of 700mg of Clozapine

Today is the second day that Gavin has been on 700mg of Clozapine per day. I'm going to be very honest and say that I'm not really seeing anything significant, one way or the other. It's only been two days, so obviously we'll need more time to sorta flesh some of this stuff out. Having said that, the positive thing is that we haven't seen any of his current side effects getting any worse. For right now, I'll take that and run with it. Next week we're going to make the second and final bump. As of next Monday, he will begin taking 800mg of Clozapine per day, once again. At this point, I'm just really grateful that this is going as smoothly as it has…

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September 14, 2016

My thoughts

After a terrible nights sleep, I’m doing pretty well today

I didn't sleep well last night again. There's just too much to worry about and while I try not to worry about things I have no control over, when it comes to my family, that's so much easier said than done. Thank God for Emmett's good mood this morning because he woke up and got dressed, including his shoes and socks before even coming downstairs. He woke up around 3am from what I gathered was a nightmare. He climbed into bed and snuggled up to me. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a suckered for snuggling with my kids. He was scared and so pushing him back to his room wouldn't have gone over well. I ended up eventually moving to the couch and letting Emmett sleep in my…

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September 14, 2016

Medication Management / My thoughts

I’ve really struggled today enlight of all Monday’s bad news

I tried to write yesterday but I just wasn't in a place to express myself in wisely chosen words. For that matter, I've not been able to really string to coherent thoughts together. I know many people are wondering what's going on but I needed time to process everything. Let me just confirm that we began the journey of increasing Gavin's Clozapine yesterday. So far so good. He dealt with things like dry mouth and bladder issues but nothing more serious than that. The long and short of it is that he's doing okay right now. I'll do my best to get caught up in the morning. Thanks for understanding.

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September 14, 2016