Sensory Archives - Page 412 of 471

I’m really struggling with Gavin today

I confessed last night about how I'm not in the best of places. Today doesn't seem to be any different. Life in general is okay but I'm really struggling with Gavin. When it comes to conversation skills, Gavin has three topics that he talks about: Food Video Games His Super Best Friends It's not like it's on occasion, that I hear about this stuff. It's as though he compulsively tells me about every thought that enters his mind. Those thoughts typically center around the above three topics. I'm so grateful that he can speak. I'm grateful that he wishes to communicate with me. I'm even more grateful that he can communicate as well as he does. At the same time however, he's driving me crazy. Yes, I know it's a…

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September 20, 2016

Emmett John / Meltdowns / My thoughts

I love the sound of meltdowns in the morning :(

Emmett woke up in a really, really, really bad mood. I can't even talk to him without being screamed at. As a result of finding myself overwhelmed already, I've put myself in a brief timeout and I'm trying not to let all of this unpleasantness, set the tone for the day. I love waking up after not getting enough sleep and getting screamed at all morning by my youngest for reasons that known only to him. 😔

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September 20, 2016

Confessions / My thoughts

Confessions: How I’m not coping well with my son’s declining overall health

So I've mentioned that I'm going through some things at the moment but never got around to saying exactly what those things were. This is the post I promised a few days ago. I'm sorry it took so long but it's not as easy for me to write lately. By nature I'm a positive person. I've got a wicked sense of humor and I enjoy laughing. Frankly, if we're being honest, it's that sense of humor that's mostly kept me from losing my mind on many occasions. For instance, I refer to Gavin's schizophrenic hallucinations in a manner that some may deem disrespectful but it's simply how I cope with all of this and the name is actually very appropriate. I've dubbed the friends in Gavin's world, his visibly challenged…

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September 20, 2016

Elliott

Today’s Victory: Major props to my middle minion

I want to take a second and give some recognition to Mr. Elliott. The middle of three, Elliott has traditionally struggled with homework, not because he couldn't do it but for reasons tied to rather extreme anxiety. Anyway, so far this school year, Elliott's been doing awesome with his homework. He now does his homework with little or no complaints. Rather than give him a set amount of time to work on his homework, we now define a set amount of work he needs to do per night. This has taken much of the anxiety inducing nonsense out of the picture. Elliott doesn't do well with anything related to being timed or time limits. Rather than continue pushing that concept, we have instead found a way that works better…

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September 19, 2016

Autism Parenting Woes / Gavin

I left without Gavin today and I’m feeling guilty about needing the break from him

This is one of those things that I don't expect everyone to understand but if you've had a child experiencing psychosis or an episode of mania, you're probably all too familiar with what I'm about to share. There's such a mishmash of feelings that one experiences when parenting a child with special needs. Aside from loving your child unconditionally, one of the most common emotions experienced is very likely to be guilt. In most cases, this is what I refer to as irrational guilt, meaning a parent feels intense amounts of guilt for things outside of their control but nonetheless impact their child in a potentially negative way. I'm no stranger to this form of guilt and today is one of those days where I'm facing it again. Gavin always…

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September 19, 2016

My thoughts

My day started at 4am but it’s been a pretty decent morning

The boys got off to school alright this morning. No major issue aside from Elliott getting up at 4am and wouldn't go back to bed. The boys were sorta crazy but we left for school on time so it couldn't have been that bad. On the way home, Gavin and I hit the track and did our thirty minute walk before heading back home. I'm really tired this morning but I'm in a pretty decent place. All things considered, this wasn't too bad of a way to start a Monday morning.

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September 19, 2016

Clozapine / Gavin / My thoughts

Today officially begins our last ditch effort to help relieve Gavin’s schizophrenic symptoms

For the final time, Gavin will have his Clozapine dose bumped up today. He will once again be at 800mg a day and this will be the last time it will ever be increased. So far, we haven't seen any improvements but hopefully, this next increase will make a difference. Unfortunately, while there hasn't been any improvement, there has been a worsening of the side effects he's already been experiencing. With this next bump, it's a pretty safe bet that things are only going to get worse. I'm actually really nervous about making this change because there's no going back. Some of these side effects are permanent and will be a part of him for the rest of his life. :( This is such a shitty feeling because making…

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September 19, 2016

Emmett John / My thoughts / Sleep Issues

Someone’s been sleeping in my bed

When Lizze and I went to bed tonight, this is what greeted us. 💙 I knew Emmett was there already because I sang him to sleep, after he tried for almost two hours to go to sleep on his own. When he came down stairs, we were surprised because he'd been up there for a couple hours and we figured he'd fallen asleep because we hadn't heard from him. I walked him back upstairs and he curled up next to me in our bed. We played some music and I sang poorly to him. He was asleep within a few minutes. I wish I knew what was going on with him but he's just having the hardest time falling asleep in his bed. On the positive side,…

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September 19, 2016