Coexisting with a person who has Schizophrenia can be a very difficult, frustrating, painful, heartbreaking and confusing experience. It's even harder when that person is one of your children and there's not much you can do to help them.
It's been a couple days since I've written much. Honestly, I'm in a pretty rough place. Tuesday was a difficult day for me and I'm not bouncing back, at least not at the moment. I probably just need some time. Anyway, until then, I'm going to force myself to do the things I would normally do because that will help me to stay ahead of the depression and continue moving forward. With that in mind, this will just be a quick update. The boys had a good morning and a great day at school. I'm really proud of them because we have a lot going on and simply returning to school after two weeks off is hard enough to adjust to. At the same time, they're struggling with the loss…
I will be the very first to admit that we are financially struggling. I make decent money but it's hard to do so consistently for a number of reasons that don't really matter at the moment. One of the struggles I have is in regards to the utilities. I can do really well for awhile and then I can fall behind, unable to get caught up. I'm currently in the fell behind category and I'm unable to get caught up. Actually, I'm only behind on one utility and that's our natural gas, through Dominion Energy Ohio. I've been working very hard to get things caught up but I'm $510 behind and past due, as of yesterday. That's actually pretty good, considering where we've been. On the way to the funeral…
It's going to be a rough day. My Grandfather's funeral is this morning and it's about an hour away. Calling hours will immediately be followed by the funeral. It's all in one day and I guess that's a thing now. Honestly, it's better this way because it makes it easier for everyone to be there for everything and that's important. After several discussions with Dr. Pattie, my parents, Lizze's parents and some of you, we decided to give the boys the opportunity to attend the funeral. This is only for Elliott and Emmett, as it's best for all, including Gavin, if he stays back. Both boys wanted to go and until last night, that was the plan. While I was out walking last night, Elliott decided that it would be…
While this is meant to be somewhat humorous, it's also trying to make a point. Statements like these are not helpful. They can can be annoying and even downright offensive. I can't tell you how many times I've heard things like: You should use a sticker chart because all kids respond to sticker charts. You need to discipline your child and they won't act that way. Are you sure he's Autistic because he doesn't look Autistic. Don't worry, he'll outgrow it. He's just a picky eater, and he'll eat when he's hungry. I know all about Autism, I've seen Rain Man. I will say that a good number of the people who have said these things to me have been well intentioned. They mean well but at the same time,…
One of the most misunderstood things about Autism is the meltdown. People commonly conflate meltdowns with tantrums and it's really important to understand the difference.
On January 4, 2019, my Grandfather passed away. I know many of you are aware that he'd been living with my parents for a while now. 2018 had been a pretty rough year for him. He's suffered multiple strokes and he lost much of his independence but he never lost his sense of humor. He was basically a mischievous child trapped in a 92 year olds body and we all loved him for it. My grandfather was a Marine, serving during World War II. He was incredibly proud of his service to our country and inspired some of his grandchildren to serve as well. Growing up, we lived about an hour or so apart but I spent a lot of time with my grandparents, especially during the summer. We were…
I've been thinking about how to describe the way I'm feeling and the only thing I can come up with is that I've had better days. I know that sounds pretty generic but its all I have at the moment. I'm not in a really good place and I'm struggling to sorta keep the ship righted. I'm completely exhausted both physically and emotionally. I didn't sleep last night and I can feel depression taking hold of me. There's too much happening all at once and I'm bogged down, no longer able to process things right now. All I want to do is shutdown for a little while but unfortunately, that's simply not an option. I have too many things that I have to figure out in the next couple of…